Sunday, June 27, 2010
Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles
Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles: "Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles"
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Single?
The definition for choice, according to the Webster's Dictionary is the right or power to choose; preference; or careful selection. It is impossible to not wonder if there's something better just around the corner or......someone better. A friend of mine said to me one day, "If I could just choose between Rob or Bob (made up names of course) I'd be married by now." I agreed but having choices is not what it's cracked up to be. So, that leaves us to question then how do you tame indecision, particularly with it comes to relationships.
Studies show that when people have several choices to choose from, making a decision becomes harder. For example; a grocery store displayed 6 types of jam for people to choose from in a taste test the first week. The second week there were 24 different types of jam to choose from. Although the bigger selection brought more customers to the table, having all those choices made it hard to pick a winner. The paradox of choice leaves us confused, paralyzed and suffering from buyers remorse. So, how does it relate when really important questions come up like picking a home, a new career or....a life partner?
When I was growing up adults told me that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up and have anything that I wanted. For this generation, how do you choose when you are taught that you can have it all? People today are putting off marriage a lot longer than generations before us. The thirty-somethings are overcome with an explosion of options vying for our attention. Friends, careers, the people out there that we haven't dated yet. The effect of choice, when the waiter brings your food and you realize you really want what he or she is having.
Some ways that helped me to crap or get off the pot were: What exactly is my criteria in a mate? One of the things that really bug me about my boyfriend is he always says stupid sh*t without thinking. Like standing in the doorway of the laundry room asking me if I have something in the washer when I can hear it running myself all the way in the kitchen. "Are you really asking me that?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" On the other hand he really tries to make me happy. He would do anything in the world for me like scrub the dead skin from my heels with the Ped-egg and then rub lotion all over my feet when he knows I would not do the same for him.....GROSS!!! Yes, girls....be jealous, be very jealous. Okay, so I can overlook stupid remarks if it means a foot rub later. Trade-offs are the key.
Next is concentration. When an ex or someone I used to have my eye on or even a new guy approaches me now a days and asks me out, I ask myself these questions. Would so and so rub my back? Take out the garbage without being told? Put up with my need for control? My quirky sense of humor (especially at his own expense)? My kids being brats and me wanting my house to be perfect at all times? Or my craving for bar-b-q Frito's and French Onion Dip at 1:00 in the morning? If the answer if no, then I don't even consider it and politely decline.
Common sense should also be considered when picking a mate. Don't pick someone that is the total opposite from you. If you are the conservative Baptist type that like hugs and small talk, don't go after an atheist hippie at the local Star Bucks. Although opposites do attract, it will not work out in the long run. It is not destiny, only hormones trying control your brain.
Give yourself a time limit. There is a difference between being picky and paralyzed. Really, do you need 7 years worth of data collection to determine if you are compatible? Three years is good enough. Five years should be the max.
Finally choose already!! You don't really get to have everything. And to be honest, you really don't want everything anyway. Trust me on this. One thing that makes us fear choosing is that we think we have shut the door on anymore options in life. Not true. By making a choice you have just opened up a brand new box of options. Take for instance, if you choose Bill then you'll never date Will. True. If you pick an architect, then you'll never have the cowboy. Also true. But consider this, if you pick the architect then you can decide if you want a dog house or a people house? What color should you make it? What size, big or small? Choosing doesn't limit choices--it just changes them. So choose and see what happens. If you wait, you may be missing more than you think.
Studies show that when people have several choices to choose from, making a decision becomes harder. For example; a grocery store displayed 6 types of jam for people to choose from in a taste test the first week. The second week there were 24 different types of jam to choose from. Although the bigger selection brought more customers to the table, having all those choices made it hard to pick a winner. The paradox of choice leaves us confused, paralyzed and suffering from buyers remorse. So, how does it relate when really important questions come up like picking a home, a new career or....a life partner?
When I was growing up adults told me that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up and have anything that I wanted. For this generation, how do you choose when you are taught that you can have it all? People today are putting off marriage a lot longer than generations before us. The thirty-somethings are overcome with an explosion of options vying for our attention. Friends, careers, the people out there that we haven't dated yet. The effect of choice, when the waiter brings your food and you realize you really want what he or she is having.
Some ways that helped me to crap or get off the pot were: What exactly is my criteria in a mate? One of the things that really bug me about my boyfriend is he always says stupid sh*t without thinking. Like standing in the doorway of the laundry room asking me if I have something in the washer when I can hear it running myself all the way in the kitchen. "Are you really asking me that?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" On the other hand he really tries to make me happy. He would do anything in the world for me like scrub the dead skin from my heels with the Ped-egg and then rub lotion all over my feet when he knows I would not do the same for him.....GROSS!!! Yes, girls....be jealous, be very jealous. Okay, so I can overlook stupid remarks if it means a foot rub later. Trade-offs are the key.
Next is concentration. When an ex or someone I used to have my eye on or even a new guy approaches me now a days and asks me out, I ask myself these questions. Would so and so rub my back? Take out the garbage without being told? Put up with my need for control? My quirky sense of humor (especially at his own expense)? My kids being brats and me wanting my house to be perfect at all times? Or my craving for bar-b-q Frito's and French Onion Dip at 1:00 in the morning? If the answer if no, then I don't even consider it and politely decline.
Common sense should also be considered when picking a mate. Don't pick someone that is the total opposite from you. If you are the conservative Baptist type that like hugs and small talk, don't go after an atheist hippie at the local Star Bucks. Although opposites do attract, it will not work out in the long run. It is not destiny, only hormones trying control your brain.
Give yourself a time limit. There is a difference between being picky and paralyzed. Really, do you need 7 years worth of data collection to determine if you are compatible? Three years is good enough. Five years should be the max.
Finally choose already!! You don't really get to have everything. And to be honest, you really don't want everything anyway. Trust me on this. One thing that makes us fear choosing is that we think we have shut the door on anymore options in life. Not true. By making a choice you have just opened up a brand new box of options. Take for instance, if you choose Bill then you'll never date Will. True. If you pick an architect, then you'll never have the cowboy. Also true. But consider this, if you pick the architect then you can decide if you want a dog house or a people house? What color should you make it? What size, big or small? Choosing doesn't limit choices--it just changes them. So choose and see what happens. If you wait, you may be missing more than you think.
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