How Happy Are You?

I believe I have always been blessed. I have made it through some really hard times before that have left me bitter and angry at the world. But then I would tell myself to suck it up because there is always someone out there who has it worse than me. Although this was probably true, more often than not, I just wasn't all that happy. I had a lot to be happy about. I always managed to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table even though I was a single parent. I had a nice house, drove a descent car; I had my health; I had friends. I was close to my family. But still.... certain things set me off like a raving lunatic! I snapped at the kids or my boyfriend. I lost my temper easily, felt insecure and even dejected at times for no reason really.

I always figured I would find a way to make my life exactly the way I thought it should be. I'd dress up more and quit wearing sweats so much. I'd make more of an effort to remember people's birthdays. I wouldn't let the kids eat cereal 24/7 or watch so much TV or I'd spend more time laughing and having fun. I had been to the doctors office more than once trying to find a way to feel better about myself. Antidepressant after antidepressant, nothing worked for long. Either I wanted to sleep all the time or I was so chilled out I didn't even care what was going on around me. Suddenly, I realized that I wasn't depressed or suffering from a mid-life crisis. I was simply discontent. Sometimes I would look around and wonder, "Is this really my life?" And although I was dissatisfied and felt as if something was missing, I still never forgot how lucky I was.

I can remember times when I couldn't sleep well and I would just wander from room to room looking at my little angels asleep in their beds without a care in the world. We had everything we needed. Actually we had more than most, so why was I failing to appreciate it?

Now, I understand that most people can not agree on what makes a person happy but we can agree that everyone could be happier if they put forth a little effort. Studies show that happy people are more productive, helpful, interesting, resilient, healthier and likable. Happy people make better friends, lovers, colleagues and citizens. I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted to be more patient, more energetic, more forgiving, more spiritual even. And what could I lose by working on my own happiness but possibly bring happiness to someone else as a result?

I changed a few things in my life that has definitely been for the best. Instead of doing everything myself, I let someone help me. Instead of keeping personal relations at arms length, I let my boyfriend love me who is now my husband. I acquired a better relationship with God, which was the most important thing I ever did. I am more open to new things and try to get out of my comfort zone on occasion. I changed jobs and took some college courses. I am a better listener and try to see things from my kids point of view. I have a dinner once a month and invite the whole family over. It keeps us close and THAT makes me happy.

Everyone's approach to what makes them happy is unique but everyone around you can benefit from it. Ask yourself these questions:

• What makes you feel good about yourself?
• What are sources of irritation, boredom or frustration for you?
• Do you wish you could change  your job or go back to school?
• Are you living up to your life's expectations?
• Does your life reflect your values?
• Is there something you always wanted to try?

Make lists. Write it down. Remind yourself that you are worth it and you deserve to be happy or maybe just a little happy-er. Whatever the reason.....Get Happy!