Something I read makes me think about the past and how screwed up it was at one time. I look back at my previous marriages and cringe at the remembrance of some memories. My first marriage didn't really last that long and I was sooo young that I barely remember most of it. I hardly ever count that one even though it did yield two beautiful children. Now, my second marriage I thought would be the death of me. I think one tries harder the second time around because who wants to be a two time loser right? I stayed and took things that I normally wouldn't from anyone else but I think my biggest problem was I could never truly be myself in that relationship. Oh, to the outward appearances we looked to be the perfect couple but behind closed doors it was a totally different story.
I worked a twelve hour swing shift and took care of his elderly grandparents that lived next door. Both in diapers, both needing a full time nurse, not someone who was just trying to figure out what the hell she was doing. I would cook most of the meals for them, wash piss soaked sheets, clean crap off of them when they messed their diapers, give insulin shots and dole out meds like I knew what I was doing. Then I would try to take a nap, keep my own house clean, cook, help 3 kids with homework, give baths, adhere to other wifely duties and then go work 12 hours in a factory. All the while my husband worked a 9 to 5 job, never cooked or cleaned or did laundry. He would come in at 4:30 and proceed to fall asleep in the chair watching the 6 o'clock news. But I didn't mind because I was in love. Me being in love meant.....I will do without sleep for 36 hours at a time so I can take your grandpa to the doctors office at the VA, I will clean shit off a 80 year woman's behind with a smile, I will work an extra 20 hours a week to buy those $2500.00 wheels and tires for your jeep baby, I will bring your dinner to you in your recliner....no don't get up, I will lay your clothes out for you before I go to work, I will pay all the bills, I will protect you from your insecurities and pain, I will give you all my time, my devotion, my body, my soul, the moon and the stars if I am in love with you. That's just the way it's always been with me. I will give until I am totally depleted and left lifeless or until someone else comes along who knows exactly what to say when I'm at my lowest, to shift my focus and the process starts all over again.
Now, I don't doubt that my husband loved me, we just couldn't figure out how to NOT make each other desperately miserable. I resented him because I had to do everything and he resented me because he didn't feel needed in the relationship. I gave him whatever he wanted and never said no to anything, so he thought I just didn't care what he did or didn't do. I was busy being Super Mom and Wife of the Year and although he got to reaps the benefits, he didn't feel that I loved him enough. He said I treated "personal time" like one more job I had to get done before I got to finally go to sleep. I thought I was being the perfect partner but as my resentment grew, so did his distance until finally there was nothing left to save. You can love someone and still resent the hell out of then. We are perfect examples of that. Even now I think we both morn our marriage years later. There were good times and lots of them. Moments I miss. But those moments are blind to you when you are going through a divorce. You forget about them until after the fact.... when your life is left in ruins around you. Broken promises and hurt feelings littered everywhere. They say no one has ever die from splitting up the furniture but there were times I thought I would....I wished I would, so I could be released from all this pain.
One of the hardest things about leaving is my ex husband has never forgiven me for it. He feels I have destroyed his life somehow...... although he's gone on with another relationship. And no many how many times we apologize and offer explanations for what happened to our marriage it's never going to banish that missing piece of me, that constant reminder, that I was the one who chose divorce over him. That is the guilt I feel every time I see him. Although we both did some pretty crappy stuff to each other during that time, he has never lost the sadness in his eyes and I know I am responsible for putting it there. Funny thing is, if someone else hurt the other one, we would be the first in line to dole out an ass whoopin'. I remember this one instance in court, for an unrelated case when my ex was called to be a character witness against me, when a lawyer asked questions about our marriage and we both started crying. He was on the stand being questioned. The lawyer was talking about how I had done this and that to him during our divorce and my ex goes, "Well yea, but we were going through a divorce and those things happen but she is totally a victim in this case." The more the lawyer talked the madder he became and started defending me like no other. After wards, outside the court house he tells me he didn't know if he was a help to me or not but he tried. We hugged and cried a little and he walked away. My attorney turns to me and says he has never seen two people love each other more and wonders aloud as to why we got a divorce. My response was and still is.....We love each other but we just can't get along. We both have very dominant personalities that clash and bang together with no respect for the other. Sometimes things are just that way. Life isn't always fair and we don't all have happy endings but at least we can maintain some sort of peace amongst ourselves. We do have a beautiful daughter and for her, I will always be grateful. She is the light of my life and his.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Things that make me happy
Tonight, like every night, I am having trouble sleeping. Now my grandpa used to tell me the reason he napped all day is because he never slept good at night and I just thought he was full of crap and had his days and nights mixed up. I guess what he said was true because the older I get the harder it is to sleep at night. So, tonight I decided I would take a long bubble bath and read a little while I soaked. I also had a glass of wine for good measure thinking if I couldn't go to sleep after this, something has got to be wrong. It doesn't get any more relaxed than this. Of course it didn't work but as I was sitting in the tub, up to my neck in bubbles, I thought to myself..... I have a pretty good life. I should probably be more thankful than I am but sometimes we get so caught up in the process of life, we forget the good stuff. Such as bubble baths for instance. Most of the time I'm lucky to get a quick shower with all the running I do. But, that also got me thinking about the other stuff that makes me happy like fresh sheets on the bed or the smell of rain after a storm. Getting prime seats at the movies or fried apple pies. Hitting all the green lights in a row or the moment of anticipation just before a kiss. The feeling you have when its the first time with someone special. Hot coco, warm blankets and marshmallows. Hanging with friends, crying at weddings and hometown football games. (Even though I don't understand football.) Basketball......now there's a sport. Go Cats!!!
Watching my kids grow. I love everything about them. They make me the happiest. Especially Brooke, when she laughs. That kid has the best laugh....EVER. Her nose wrinkles up and she has the biggest grin and a giggle that comes all the way from her toes or Courtney when she dances in the kitchen and acts silly to make me smile. She is comical and comes up with the craziest stuff to make me laugh until I cry and Jaylan because she'll always be mommy's girl and she is the bestest snuggle bunny hands down.
Other things that make me happy are: a great cup of coffee or getting the milk to cereal ratio just right. The cool side of the pillow and when they play all my favorite songs on the radio. Laughing so hard, no sound comes out at all. Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm. Sleeping naked every chance I get. Walking on grass with bare feet. Driving around with the windows down on warm summer nights. Puppies! Finding money in the dryer. Book stores and good conversations. Getting something with someones actual handwriting in the mail. Old pictures of the kids when they were little. Good memories and good friends. Heart felt compliments from someone you love. Good advice taken. Church on Sunday when the preacher is all fired up! My family. A new tube of tooth paste and the first scoop of peanut butter. A large peach sweet tea from Sonic.....easy on the ice. The perfect rare steak with a big ol baked tater with butter AND sour cream. When babies fall asleep on you and you are afraid to move. Watching scary movies in the dark. Holding hands or catching lightening bugs. Hearing from an old friend. Getting text messages. Getting my hair washed by someone else. Sleeping like a rock and waking up whenever. Vacations! Realizing that I am blessed with wonderful people in my life. These are just a few of the things that make me happy. So, how about you? Leave a comment and tell me what makes you happy.
Watching my kids grow. I love everything about them. They make me the happiest. Especially Brooke, when she laughs. That kid has the best laugh....EVER. Her nose wrinkles up and she has the biggest grin and a giggle that comes all the way from her toes or Courtney when she dances in the kitchen and acts silly to make me smile. She is comical and comes up with the craziest stuff to make me laugh until I cry and Jaylan because she'll always be mommy's girl and she is the bestest snuggle bunny hands down.
Other things that make me happy are: a great cup of coffee or getting the milk to cereal ratio just right. The cool side of the pillow and when they play all my favorite songs on the radio. Laughing so hard, no sound comes out at all. Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm. Sleeping naked every chance I get. Walking on grass with bare feet. Driving around with the windows down on warm summer nights. Puppies! Finding money in the dryer. Book stores and good conversations. Getting something with someones actual handwriting in the mail. Old pictures of the kids when they were little. Good memories and good friends. Heart felt compliments from someone you love. Good advice taken. Church on Sunday when the preacher is all fired up! My family. A new tube of tooth paste and the first scoop of peanut butter. A large peach sweet tea from Sonic.....easy on the ice. The perfect rare steak with a big ol baked tater with butter AND sour cream. When babies fall asleep on you and you are afraid to move. Watching scary movies in the dark. Holding hands or catching lightening bugs. Hearing from an old friend. Getting text messages. Getting my hair washed by someone else. Sleeping like a rock and waking up whenever. Vacations! Realizing that I am blessed with wonderful people in my life. These are just a few of the things that make me happy. So, how about you? Leave a comment and tell me what makes you happy.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Making New Friends in Unlikely Places
I have been anemic for as long as I can remember but in the last year or so my anemia has gotten worse. I've always been tired and low on energy but considering how busy my life is, fatigue is not acceptable. Things needed to be done and I'm the mommy. However, this last year has been somewhat difficult. I get winded climbing stairs and had some rather significant weight gain. Not having enough blood causes my heart to pump harder trying to get what little I do have to the other parts of my body. This causes me to have trouble breathing at times and slows down my metabolism considerably. I've been to the doctor several times over the past year for test on my thyroid and other things. I've had a colonoscopy (that was fun, not!), an upper GI, an ultrasound of my uterus, scan of my kidneys and numerous blood tests......which by the way makes no sense to me. I'm only producing about a 1/3 of the red blood cells a person needs. My hemoglobin was at 8.2 the last time they took blood. At 7.0 a person needs a blood transfusion. If the hemoglobin drops below 7 then you start to risk damage to organs such as the lungs and heart. So, if I don't make enough blood, then why do they keep taking it from me to test? Don't I need all the blood I can get?
Anyway, I started my iron infusions this week at our new Commonwealth Cancer Center to see if maybe that will work instead of giving me a blood transfusion. I'm hooked up to an IV for 4 hours a day, every Friday for 6 weeks. This past Friday was my first. They take me back to Wing A and show me around, giving me a tour of the place. There's a little kitchen with a microwave and refrigerator. An ice machine and coffee maker and snacks of various kinds. And then..... there is the other patients. Mostly cancer patients going through their chemo treatments. I think I was the only one in the room who still had my hair besides the nurses. One particular patient was my neighbor Deborah. Before I get hooked up, I decide to grab a bit, since I'm going to be a while, and then go potty. When I return to my chair, my IV pole is already there along with some pills in a little cup. Deborah instructs me to take them and I do so figuring she knew what she was talking about. I take my place in the chair and a little nurse comes by and asks if I need a pillow or a blanket. I decline thinking I am probably the healthiest one in there room and she should probably be helping the cancer patients more. Of course the nurses a very complimentary to everyone back here in Wing A. I just feel guilty for being in this place and the only thing wrong with me is anemia.....but, this is where my Hematologist is so, this is where I need to be for the moment.
Deborah is staring out the window when I offer her a magazine I brought to spend the time. She is very pale, gaunt and wears a little UK cap on her bare head to keep her warm. She declines at first then changes her mind. She asks me about my infusion and I tell her my story then, she tells me hers. She has just recently been diagnose with throat cancer on July 4th and I had noticed the trache sticking out of her throat. She talks with a horse voice as I listen. She has been sick for a while but her regular medical doctor has yet to figure out what's wrong with her. Finally she gets bad enough for an emergency room visit one night and is diagnose within 30 minutes of her arrival with cancer. Something her doctor hadn't been unable to detect in previous months. She is given 0-6 months to live but treatment has been good to her and now her prognosis has become a 98% chance of remission. She tells me this is something very positive coming out of a very negative situation. Deborah will start radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks soon and is looking forward to getting better. She says this with a smile on her face. Deborah tells me I look tired and should probably take a nap. The medicine has made me rather sleepy. She explains taking a nap makes the treatments go faster. It's raining outside now and a nap sounds like a good idea. I close my eyes and drift off as she flips through my magazine. I awake a little while later to my nurse switching out my IV bags and Deborah is getting done with her treatment. She hands me back my magazine and asks if I had a good nap. I reply as she gathers her things. She tells the nurse she will see her again tomorrow and turns to me and says she hopes I start feeling better soon. She brushes my hand as she walks by and I think "Wow" to myself. I think she's more worried about me than she is herself. I'm not sure what to say and just kinda a nod in recognition. She shuffles off out the door and I wonder if she'll be my neighbor again next Friday when I'm here again. I hope so I think silently to myself as I watch the rain misting outside my window.........
Anyway, I started my iron infusions this week at our new Commonwealth Cancer Center to see if maybe that will work instead of giving me a blood transfusion. I'm hooked up to an IV for 4 hours a day, every Friday for 6 weeks. This past Friday was my first. They take me back to Wing A and show me around, giving me a tour of the place. There's a little kitchen with a microwave and refrigerator. An ice machine and coffee maker and snacks of various kinds. And then..... there is the other patients. Mostly cancer patients going through their chemo treatments. I think I was the only one in the room who still had my hair besides the nurses. One particular patient was my neighbor Deborah. Before I get hooked up, I decide to grab a bit, since I'm going to be a while, and then go potty. When I return to my chair, my IV pole is already there along with some pills in a little cup. Deborah instructs me to take them and I do so figuring she knew what she was talking about. I take my place in the chair and a little nurse comes by and asks if I need a pillow or a blanket. I decline thinking I am probably the healthiest one in there room and she should probably be helping the cancer patients more. Of course the nurses a very complimentary to everyone back here in Wing A. I just feel guilty for being in this place and the only thing wrong with me is anemia.....but, this is where my Hematologist is so, this is where I need to be for the moment.
Deborah is staring out the window when I offer her a magazine I brought to spend the time. She is very pale, gaunt and wears a little UK cap on her bare head to keep her warm. She declines at first then changes her mind. She asks me about my infusion and I tell her my story then, she tells me hers. She has just recently been diagnose with throat cancer on July 4th and I had noticed the trache sticking out of her throat. She talks with a horse voice as I listen. She has been sick for a while but her regular medical doctor has yet to figure out what's wrong with her. Finally she gets bad enough for an emergency room visit one night and is diagnose within 30 minutes of her arrival with cancer. Something her doctor hadn't been unable to detect in previous months. She is given 0-6 months to live but treatment has been good to her and now her prognosis has become a 98% chance of remission. She tells me this is something very positive coming out of a very negative situation. Deborah will start radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks soon and is looking forward to getting better. She says this with a smile on her face. Deborah tells me I look tired and should probably take a nap. The medicine has made me rather sleepy. She explains taking a nap makes the treatments go faster. It's raining outside now and a nap sounds like a good idea. I close my eyes and drift off as she flips through my magazine. I awake a little while later to my nurse switching out my IV bags and Deborah is getting done with her treatment. She hands me back my magazine and asks if I had a good nap. I reply as she gathers her things. She tells the nurse she will see her again tomorrow and turns to me and says she hopes I start feeling better soon. She brushes my hand as she walks by and I think "Wow" to myself. I think she's more worried about me than she is herself. I'm not sure what to say and just kinda a nod in recognition. She shuffles off out the door and I wonder if she'll be my neighbor again next Friday when I'm here again. I hope so I think silently to myself as I watch the rain misting outside my window.........
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My Accomplishment
So, today I'm going through my filing cabinet and run across some stories I had written and some little journal entries. One of them was called My Accomplishment. I think I wrote this when the girls were maybe 3, 4 and 7 years old and I still feel the same way.
Yesterday was my birthday and here I sit depressed as another year has blown by me and I wonder what did I accomplish this past year that was all that amazing. Nothing that I can think of....then I hear the kids playing outside. I don't think there's a sound sweeter that the giggling of three little girls so, I step out into the evening sun to see what all the hub bub is about. They don't even notice me standing on the deck watching them. They are too consumed in play. Jaylan is lying in the grass limp and lifeless pretending she's dead. Eyes shut as tight as she can get them, trying not to laugh while Brooke and Courtney stand over her crying. "Poor princess Jaylan has died!" "Now we must bury her beneath the magic tree," they shout. Then Brooke grabs Jay's arms and Courtney her legs and they drag her down the yard to our Mimosa tree.There they pull the pink blooms from the tree and sprinkle them over Jaylan's body and say a few inaudible words I can't hear for the distance. Suddenly, as if by magic, Jaylan rises from the grave and says, "I live!" "I live!" Then they dance in a circle, holding hands like little fairies and sing songs. I guess this means Jaylan has escaped the evil wrath of the Warlock Midnite (played by our dog) and lives to rule her kingdom for another day. Then I realized that the biggest accomplishment, I've ever made or ever will, is giving life to these incredible little girls who teach me everyday more about life than I will probably ever teach them. Thank God for little girls.....
Yesterday was my birthday and here I sit depressed as another year has blown by me and I wonder what did I accomplish this past year that was all that amazing. Nothing that I can think of....then I hear the kids playing outside. I don't think there's a sound sweeter that the giggling of three little girls so, I step out into the evening sun to see what all the hub bub is about. They don't even notice me standing on the deck watching them. They are too consumed in play. Jaylan is lying in the grass limp and lifeless pretending she's dead. Eyes shut as tight as she can get them, trying not to laugh while Brooke and Courtney stand over her crying. "Poor princess Jaylan has died!" "Now we must bury her beneath the magic tree," they shout. Then Brooke grabs Jay's arms and Courtney her legs and they drag her down the yard to our Mimosa tree.There they pull the pink blooms from the tree and sprinkle them over Jaylan's body and say a few inaudible words I can't hear for the distance. Suddenly, as if by magic, Jaylan rises from the grave and says, "I live!" "I live!" Then they dance in a circle, holding hands like little fairies and sing songs. I guess this means Jaylan has escaped the evil wrath of the Warlock Midnite (played by our dog) and lives to rule her kingdom for another day. Then I realized that the biggest accomplishment, I've ever made or ever will, is giving life to these incredible little girls who teach me everyday more about life than I will probably ever teach them. Thank God for little girls.....
A Chattanooga Good Time!
I just got back from a weekend with friends in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I absolutely love Chattanooga! It's one of the cleanest cities I've visited and has lots to offer. One of the things this city has is great food. I visited the BoatHouse Restaurant right on the Tennessee River for lunch during my stay. We all ate deck side enjoying the beautiful weather and the awesome smells coming from inside the kitchen. All your meats are cooked with wood giving my Beef Brisket with Au jou and horseradish sauce a savory mesquite flavor sided with olive fries and a homemade slaw. For an appetizer we also enjoyed some of the best calamari and fried onions I have ever tasted. I took some fabulous pics out by the waterfront as boats floated by with a beautiful golf course and stately mansions as my backdrop. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was perfect!
However, just because I was out of state, that was no excuse for missing the UK/Louisville game......off to the Chattanooga Billiards and Cigar Bar. There we took our seats to see Kentucky draw first blood with the first touchdown of the game just minutes after kickoff. My friends had a running bet.....Lige for Louisville and Chelsey for UK. Of course I had to side with Chelse on this one and we dogged Lige hard everytime UK made a play. It was all in the name of good fun, good cigars and ice cold beer though. What else could you want? Suddenly the owner (Phil) walks up to us and asked if we would rather watch the game in the exclusive Havana Room? It is members only folks! The computer on the door has to read your fingerprint to get in! How exclusive in that? And of course we graciously excepted his offer. Duh! who wouldn't? The room was beautifully decorated with large overstuffed leather chairs, couches and ottomans. Stained glass lamps sat atop wooded side tables. Bookshelves were covered with memorabilia and trophies and pictures of famous people adorn the walls. Signed autographed this and that... with piles of Cigar Aficionado magazines laying here and there. Sweet cigar smoke hung in the air as a little waitress wearing a football jersey ran in and out catering to our every whim. I was impressed to say the least. I took my place on one of the fat leathery sofas and kicked my black Chuck Taylor's up on the coffee table like I lived there and listen to my sister Bev and Phil talk of days gone bye. I watched and giggled as I listen to Chelsey and Lige argue back and forth about the game. I even got to see my buddy Steve on TV (covering the sports for News Channel 27 back home) following Joker Phillips after the game. Kentucky won of course, so now it's off to dinner at the Chattanooga Macaroni Grill for some wine and Chicken Marsala to celebrate. Whoohoo!
Ok, so when I wasn't eating and spending time with friends I did go on top of the Lookout Mountain to get some breath taking views and pics of the whole city of Chattanooga. Just a few of the attractions Chattanooga offers is the Incline Railroad, Ruby Falls and Rock City. Then there is always the Tennessee Aquarium and a scenic tour of the river offered by the Southern Belle River Boat. As far as down town and the arts scene goes.........Chattanooga’s arts scene is second to none. Take in one of the nation’s largest collections of American art. Discover the many galleries and emerging artists at places such as Bluff View, NorthShore and Southside districts. This is truly a treasure of a city and worth stopping in to take a look. And while your there, check out the City Cafe' for breakfast and don't forget to shop at the many outlets stores down Gun Barrel Road. Yep, that's really the name of the road. Go figure! So, next time you find yourself in Tennessee, stop bye some of these places and tell them Vanessa sent ya! Probably won't do you any good but it's worth a try! lol
However, just because I was out of state, that was no excuse for missing the UK/Louisville game......off to the Chattanooga Billiards and Cigar Bar. There we took our seats to see Kentucky draw first blood with the first touchdown of the game just minutes after kickoff. My friends had a running bet.....Lige for Louisville and Chelsey for UK. Of course I had to side with Chelse on this one and we dogged Lige hard everytime UK made a play. It was all in the name of good fun, good cigars and ice cold beer though. What else could you want? Suddenly the owner (Phil) walks up to us and asked if we would rather watch the game in the exclusive Havana Room? It is members only folks! The computer on the door has to read your fingerprint to get in! How exclusive in that? And of course we graciously excepted his offer. Duh! who wouldn't? The room was beautifully decorated with large overstuffed leather chairs, couches and ottomans. Stained glass lamps sat atop wooded side tables. Bookshelves were covered with memorabilia and trophies and pictures of famous people adorn the walls. Signed autographed this and that... with piles of Cigar Aficionado magazines laying here and there. Sweet cigar smoke hung in the air as a little waitress wearing a football jersey ran in and out catering to our every whim. I was impressed to say the least. I took my place on one of the fat leathery sofas and kicked my black Chuck Taylor's up on the coffee table like I lived there and listen to my sister Bev and Phil talk of days gone bye. I watched and giggled as I listen to Chelsey and Lige argue back and forth about the game. I even got to see my buddy Steve on TV (covering the sports for News Channel 27 back home) following Joker Phillips after the game. Kentucky won of course, so now it's off to dinner at the Chattanooga Macaroni Grill for some wine and Chicken Marsala to celebrate. Whoohoo!
Ok, so when I wasn't eating and spending time with friends I did go on top of the Lookout Mountain to get some breath taking views and pics of the whole city of Chattanooga. Just a few of the attractions Chattanooga offers is the Incline Railroad, Ruby Falls and Rock City. Then there is always the Tennessee Aquarium and a scenic tour of the river offered by the Southern Belle River Boat. As far as down town and the arts scene goes.........Chattanooga’s arts scene is second to none. Take in one of the nation’s largest collections of American art. Discover the many galleries and emerging artists at places such as Bluff View, NorthShore and Southside districts. This is truly a treasure of a city and worth stopping in to take a look. And while your there, check out the City Cafe' for breakfast and don't forget to shop at the many outlets stores down Gun Barrel Road. Yep, that's really the name of the road. Go figure! So, next time you find yourself in Tennessee, stop bye some of these places and tell them Vanessa sent ya! Probably won't do you any good but it's worth a try! lol
Monday, September 6, 2010
Morning Walk
I wake up at around 9:00 am....... stretch and yawn and slide out of bed. I say slide because that is exactly what I do. I have a huge king size bed that hits me above my waist and since I am a shorty anyway, I practically look like a 4 year old climbing into my bed every night........ And every morning slide off the side and land on my feet to start the day.
I step out on the porch to test the morning air and temperature. Absolutely perfect weather for a stroll through the neighborhood. Not too hot.....not too cool.... just right and off I go. Most everyone has decided to sleep in I suppose. Some houses are very quiet. No one seems to be stirring quite yet except for old Mr. Nantz 4 doors down. He's out shuffling around in his garage with it's doors open wide, tinkering on some new project I'm sure. He notices me and throws a hand up. "Good morning!" he says. I smile and reply, "Good morning to you!" and walk on. Now Mr. Nantz used to own the local pool supply store here in town and put in my first pool about 17 years ago. Him and his wife moved here this summer from a gorgeous two story house in Rowland. I guess the house had gotten too big for them to handle so they found a perfect little single story on my street to meet their needs. I discovered this one day, out walking, when I saw him outside building a little picket fence around his back yard. "Mr. Nantz, is that you?" I asked. And although he is a spry as a spring chicken, I think Mr. Nantz is up into his seventies, he still remembers me and where I live 17 years ago. "Hey, Vanessa!" "How are you?" he says. "Wow, you remember Mr. Nantz?" I ask. "Well, of course I do." "I put that pool in for you a few years back out there in Maywood." he reply's as I stand there stunned as to why I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but here this little old man remembers the day we met almost 20 years before. He hasn't changed much. Still looks the same after all these years just a little more white headed than before. I remember this memory as I move on down the street.
Around the corner the windows are open at Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw's and I can hear pots and pans banging and cabinet doors closing as she prepares breakfast this morning. I can also here Mr. Bradshaw complaining in the background about Mrs. B leaving the stove on last time and nearly burning the house down. I smile as I pass by secretly listening in on the conversation. I approach the corner....I can go left or right and still make it back to my house. I decide to take the long route this morning. It's quite a bit hilly but I can use the exercise I tell myself. To the right I go.....
I soon come upon a couple out walking and a mother and daughter with a little dog. So, I'm not the only one out of bed enjoying this day. We all wave as we pass each other and comment on the weather. Everyone is friendly and smiling. I don't know everyone in my neighborhood but I do know a few of the family's that dwell here. Like the Johnsons and the Kidds and the Harris's and then there is Mrs. Belcher and Mrs. Davis. No matter how many walks I take through the neighborhood, I always notice something different, whether it be an old oak tree or some new flowers or maybe just a little fountain in someones yard that I probably passed a hundred times. Everyone's grass has turned brown and the leaves are starting to turn their fall colors. Winter will soon follow.
Now I'm starting my climb up Edgewood and it seems its up hill all the way. I just stare at my feet and analyze the cracks in the road. I ponder on how long the cracks have been there and I look at the pebbles that have been moved up and down the street by someones tires. Wow, there's a 75 cent sticker stuck to the pavement from a previous yard sale. A tiger stripped cat is sitting in the road just up ahead looking at me lazily. It just yawns as I walk by. Almost to the top now...... legs burning, heart pumping, breathing harder. I make it to the end of the street and take a right on Hilltopper Drive. I can see my house....home sweet home. Yay! I start to catch my breath as I approach my driveway. I stumble up the steps of the porch with heavy feet and satisfaction. I fall into my wicker rocker and just close my eyes. I can hear a buzzing above my head as I open my eyes to a hummingbird sitting on the side of the feeder I recently hung. I make my own sugar water for the feeder and I assume he approves. He hovers for a few and flys off happily.
Ok, time for coffee........Happy Labor Day everyone!!!
I step out on the porch to test the morning air and temperature. Absolutely perfect weather for a stroll through the neighborhood. Not too hot.....not too cool.... just right and off I go. Most everyone has decided to sleep in I suppose. Some houses are very quiet. No one seems to be stirring quite yet except for old Mr. Nantz 4 doors down. He's out shuffling around in his garage with it's doors open wide, tinkering on some new project I'm sure. He notices me and throws a hand up. "Good morning!" he says. I smile and reply, "Good morning to you!" and walk on. Now Mr. Nantz used to own the local pool supply store here in town and put in my first pool about 17 years ago. Him and his wife moved here this summer from a gorgeous two story house in Rowland. I guess the house had gotten too big for them to handle so they found a perfect little single story on my street to meet their needs. I discovered this one day, out walking, when I saw him outside building a little picket fence around his back yard. "Mr. Nantz, is that you?" I asked. And although he is a spry as a spring chicken, I think Mr. Nantz is up into his seventies, he still remembers me and where I live 17 years ago. "Hey, Vanessa!" "How are you?" he says. "Wow, you remember Mr. Nantz?" I ask. "Well, of course I do." "I put that pool in for you a few years back out there in Maywood." he reply's as I stand there stunned as to why I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but here this little old man remembers the day we met almost 20 years before. He hasn't changed much. Still looks the same after all these years just a little more white headed than before. I remember this memory as I move on down the street.
Around the corner the windows are open at Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw's and I can hear pots and pans banging and cabinet doors closing as she prepares breakfast this morning. I can also here Mr. Bradshaw complaining in the background about Mrs. B leaving the stove on last time and nearly burning the house down. I smile as I pass by secretly listening in on the conversation. I approach the corner....I can go left or right and still make it back to my house. I decide to take the long route this morning. It's quite a bit hilly but I can use the exercise I tell myself. To the right I go.....
I soon come upon a couple out walking and a mother and daughter with a little dog. So, I'm not the only one out of bed enjoying this day. We all wave as we pass each other and comment on the weather. Everyone is friendly and smiling. I don't know everyone in my neighborhood but I do know a few of the family's that dwell here. Like the Johnsons and the Kidds and the Harris's and then there is Mrs. Belcher and Mrs. Davis. No matter how many walks I take through the neighborhood, I always notice something different, whether it be an old oak tree or some new flowers or maybe just a little fountain in someones yard that I probably passed a hundred times. Everyone's grass has turned brown and the leaves are starting to turn their fall colors. Winter will soon follow.
Now I'm starting my climb up Edgewood and it seems its up hill all the way. I just stare at my feet and analyze the cracks in the road. I ponder on how long the cracks have been there and I look at the pebbles that have been moved up and down the street by someones tires. Wow, there's a 75 cent sticker stuck to the pavement from a previous yard sale. A tiger stripped cat is sitting in the road just up ahead looking at me lazily. It just yawns as I walk by. Almost to the top now...... legs burning, heart pumping, breathing harder. I make it to the end of the street and take a right on Hilltopper Drive. I can see my house....home sweet home. Yay! I start to catch my breath as I approach my driveway. I stumble up the steps of the porch with heavy feet and satisfaction. I fall into my wicker rocker and just close my eyes. I can hear a buzzing above my head as I open my eyes to a hummingbird sitting on the side of the feeder I recently hung. I make my own sugar water for the feeder and I assume he approves. He hovers for a few and flys off happily.
Ok, time for coffee........Happy Labor Day everyone!!!
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