Balance

How many of us truly have balance in our lives? In today's society, I'm sure the answer to that is not many. Most of us have entirely too many irons in the fire at once. My pastor liken it to one of those jugglers you see on TV with the spinning plates. He sets his stick down and starts spinning the plate and once its going really good, he starts another, then another until he's got about 10 plates going at once.......but wait.....the first plate is getting a little wobbly so the juggler runs back to it to get it spinning fast again. I have felt like that a lot in my life with a job, 3 kids and marriages to keep going. Yes, I said marriages. I unfortunately have been married three times now. What can I say? I suppose I was never really THAT good at juggling. In the words of one of my favorite bands (Three Doors Down) " And all these little things in life they all create this haze. There’s too many things to get done, and I’m running out of days." I love that song and it perfectly describes how I feel at certain moments.

Sometimes though, when I have a minute to catch my breath, I remember that Bro. Wood said there are 5 ways to achieve balance in your life.

1) Mental Balance: Romans 12:2  says, "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."
2)Body: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in you body and in your spirit, which are God's."

3)Spiritual: 2nd Peter 3:18 says, "but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory both now and forever. Amen."
4) Emotional: Galatians 5:22-23 says, "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is now law."
5) Social: Matthew 6:14-15 says, "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses"

So, in a nutshell don't try to fit into this world's mold. Be yourself.....there's no one else like you. Take care of your body. Try to eat right to improve quality of life. Study your bible. Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior. Strive to maintain contentment and stability within yourself and don't hold grudges. Work on broken relationships. And remember, God can fix anything you have torn apart. There is nothing that we face in everyday life that there is not a verse that can give you the answers you seek. There will always be something to apply to your problems.

Fell in Love

I remember the first time I fell in love. I mean really fell in love, not your average puppy love type. This was relentless, unconditional and all consuming love. It was cold outside, there was snow on the ground and I was 20 years old. On January 18, 1993 I gave birth to the most perfect baby girl. She was beautiful and sweet and my life would never be the same. I had never really thought much about anyone but myself until her. I named her Brooke Skyler and  I was hooked and totally obsessed. Just watching Brooke sleep brought me great joy. I couldn't get anything done because all I wanted to do was hold her. I simply couldn't believe that she was real and that I created something so amazing. Brooke's tiny hands would wrap around my finger while she was nursing. She made little noises and squirmed and wiggled. She was my whole world and I would die for her.

I thought I had known what love was before. I had boyfriends growing up and I had been married for about 2 years when Brooke was born. I remember when I had told my boss I was getting married he asked me the strangest question. He said, "Vanessa would you take a bullet for this man?"  I kinda looked at him funny and said, "Uh......of course!" He said that I hesitated when I answered him and if I was really in love I would die for this person. He told me that I shouldn't get married so young and to wait a few more years. I never could figure out why he would ask me such a question until I became a mother. Until I became a mother I never could imagine loving someone more than I did myself but the instant Brooke was born life as I knew changed.

I believe there is all kinds of love in the world. I love my husband, my friends, my family and my dog but a love between a mother and her child is limitless. Its love in the purest form. Nothing or no one can change it.

My baby is now 18 today and I still look at her like the day I met her for the first time. I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy but she will always be my little Brookie Bear no matter how old she gets and one day she will know how I feel when she has a baby of her own. She showed me how to love unconditionally. She allowed me to make the world more beautiful with her presence and she made me a better person.

I remember the first time I fell in love....... I mean really fell in love. It was a cold snowy day in January and I was  20 years old. It was real.........precious ......and called Brooke........Happy Birthday Baby :0) I love you!

Say What You Need To Say

Other than physical survival, the greatest human need is the need to be understood, validated or appreciated. Communication experts estimated we only communication ten percent with words, thirty percent with sounds and the rest or sixty percent with body language. But how much of what we want to say is communicated through our hearts. One of the most difficult things for me to do sometimes is to say what I need to say. But to live a life with less regret, I have to start revealing my heart. To say what I need to say when the opportunity comes is a difficult yet my greatest fear is relationships messed up by things left unsaid.

 

Lines of communications are breaking down theses days although people talk all the time but very few are hearing each others words, let alone unspoken messages and feelings. Although we possess  computers, iphones and other mobile networking gadgets most  communication is non-verbal, things like facial expressions, hand and body gestures. Unfortunately  by using the above modern means of communications we have at our disposal, we are only expressing about twenty percent of what we are trying to convey and we are also only able to receive twenty percent of what is being conveyed to us.

It is really important for me to express my feelings to the key people in my life. Sometimes what I'm saying doesn't always come out the way I intended. And in turn, especially with my kids, I have to work really hard to listen to them intently and see things through their eyes. However, to really listen you must first open your hearts before you open you mouth. You must first seek to understand, then be understood.

Listen emphatically. This means to listen with the intent to understand. Listening takes time but if you can take the time now to listen to a love one then you will save yourself a lot of time down the road trying to repair a relationship. Apart from time and listening emphatically we must share our troubles. For people to see my heart, I have to admit my mistakes and share my needs.

Tell the truth, truth means trust. Great relationships and great organizations are built on trust, and to build trust, you must tell the truth. We must be willing to tell the truth but also temper it with grace. If you are angry, talk about it. If you feel hurt, talk about it. If you have a strong opinion, share it. If you respect others, speak the truth. Of course truth is messy sometimes but it will build trust and strengthen the foundation of the relationship.

Finally, say what you need to say to God. Call on God and seek his guidance to help you connect with people in your life. God says, "Call me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3 Be honest and if you cannot find the words, ask Him to give you the words. True communication is about connecting, sharing and understanding. We must be willing to open our hearts to listen and identify unspoken needs of others.

Take all of your wasted honor

Every little past frustration

Take all of your so-called problems

Better put 'em in quotations

Walking like a one man army

Fighting with the shadows in your head

Living out the same old moment

Knowing you'd be better off instead

Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over

You'd better know that in the end

Its better to say too much

Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking

And your faith is broken

Even as the eyes are closing

Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

Say what you need to say.

~John Mayer

Resolutions

It's the beginning of a brand new year and many people are making resolutions. Most will have to do with losing weight or eating healthier. Some may try to be more positive or manage their spending better but did you ever think about what really matters most of all..........maybe your relationship with our Savior Jesus Christ? Too many times I've missed church because of a ballgame the kids had or a birthday party or I just plain stayed up too late watching a movie. Sometimes I have gotten up Sunday and there has been snow on the roads and say, "Well, I guess no church today," and climbed back in my warm bed only to risk the weather conditions come Monday morning, making sure I could collect that almighty 40 hour pay check on Friday. I've had lots of excuses but none of them relevant.

Another thing I like to do is read.......everything but my Bible. Well, that's not entirely true, I do read my Bible at night before bed but I always keep a good book on me in case I get stuck in traffic or have a long wait at the Doctors office. It's usually the latest novel or some self-help book but not my Bible. My Bible sits on my nightstand everyday or until Sunday morning when it gets to venture out to church. Shouldn't it get first dibs for my attention instead the latest addition of Better Homes and Garden? It should but that's not always the case. I have definitely been guilty of letting everything and everyone get in my way of having a better relationship with God and studying His word.

I remember the day I got saved. I was coming back from Lexington one evening and because I didn't go to church that morning, I thought I'd go to the evening service to make up for it. It didn't really make up for it but I told myself that to make myself feel better since I was too lazy to get out of bed that morning. Anyway, I was alone......kids were gone, boyfriend gone. It was just me. I suppose there was a reason I stopped that night because I never went to the evening services.......never! My pastor preached a sermon that night that was especially for me, I think. It was Matthew 15:26-28 The Faith of the Canaanite Woman. I had had some problems with one of my daughters so this particular sermon hit me at my core. I cried through the whole thing. Now, this was a new church that I had just started attending so not many people knew me. I'm sure there were a few who wondering why this lady was sobbing in a pew all alone. Well, something about those words let me know that I was not alone with my problems and if I would just let him, Jesus would help me and everything would be alright but I had to let Him help. I am a control freak by nature. I want things a certain way. I want my socks to match, I want my towels folded just so, I don't like it when my food touches on my plate and I always have to drive. So, the concept of turning my life's problems over to someone else simply crippled me in the past. But that day I didn't care. I didn't care who was watching or the fact that I looked like a raccoon with mascara smears all over my face. I asked my Lord and Savior to come into my heart and change me and ......He did. When I left the parking lot of the church that night I felt better than I had in years. I felt......happy. I felt genuine happiness and a high that no nerve pill  (that my doctor had me on) could ever produce. I had such good news to tell my family and no one was home. My boyfriend was at work, my youngest was at her dad's and my two oldest were out of town. Could I have waited until my family was with me to make my commitment to God? Probably, but I believe that day, at that moment He was speaking to me. And although I was alone.... in a new church.... surrounded by strangers, I was with family.

Now, it hasn't been easy trying to change my "evil" ways. I still curse more often than I should. I judge people too harshly when I know it's not my place and I haven't exactly been beating the bushes to spread the good news about Jesus Christ but one of my daughters did get saved and baptized. My boyfriend Zach, who is now my husband, also got saved and then baptized on the same day as me. Apparently I have inspired at least 2 people and isn't that what it's all about? Bringing people closer to God one soul at a time.

So, for my New Year's resolution instead of promising myself to get in shape and eating healthier, I think I'll feed my soul and try to be a better Christian. I believe that's a resolution I can keep.~ Happy New Year!!