Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Fell in Love

I remember the first time I fell in love. I mean really fell in love, not your average puppy love type. This was relentless, unconditional and all consuming love. It was cold outside, there was snow on the ground and I was 20 years old. On January 18, 1993 I gave birth to the most perfect baby girl. She was beautiful and sweet and my life would never be the same. I had never really thought much about anyone but myself until her. I named her Brooke Skyler and  I was hooked and totally obsessed. Just watching Brooke sleep brought me great joy. I couldn't get anything done because all I wanted to do was hold her. I simply couldn't believe that she was real and that I created something so amazing. Brooke's tiny hands would wrap around my finger while she was nursing. She made little noises and squirmed and wiggled. She was my whole world and I would die for her.

I thought I had known what love was before. I had boyfriends growing up and I had been married for about 2 years when Brooke was born. I remember when I had told my boss I was getting married he asked me the strangest question. He said, "Vanessa would you take a bullet for this man?"  I kinda looked at him funny and said, "Uh......of course!" He said that I hesitated when I answered him and if I was really in love I would die for this person. He told me that I shouldn't get married so young and to wait a few more years. I never could figure out why he would ask me such a question until I became a mother. Until I became a mother I never could imagine loving someone more than I did myself but the instant Brooke was born life as I knew changed.

I believe there is all kinds of love in the world. I love my husband, my friends, my family and my dog but a love between a mother and her child is limitless. Its love in the purest form. Nothing or no one can change it.

My baby is now 18 today and I still look at her like the day I met her for the first time. I'm sure she thinks I'm crazy but she will always be my little Brookie Bear no matter how old she gets and one day she will know how I feel when she has a baby of her own. She showed me how to love unconditionally. She allowed me to make the world more beautiful with her presence and she made me a better person.

I remember the first time I fell in love....... I mean really fell in love. It was a cold snowy day in January and I was  20 years old. It was real.........precious ......and called Brooke........Happy Birthday Baby :0) I love you!

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