"Life is too short to be little." We are only here for such a short time yet we lose irreplaceable hours worrying over little things that in a years time won't be remembered by us or anyone else. Instead we should be devoting our time to worth-while undertakings, real relationships and great thinking. Everyday is a day the Lord hath made: let us rejoice and be glad in it. So the next time you let yourself get down in the dumps about really nothing at all, remember the battles won and lost by a giant of the forest:
On a slope in Colorado lies the ruin of a gigantic tree. Some people estimate the tree stood for some 400 years. It was a seedling when Columbus landed and half grown when the Pilgrims settled at Plymouth Rock. During its lifetime it had been struck by lightening 14 times and survived countless avalanches and storms across four centuries. With all its age it never withered. In the end, however, the giant was brought down by an army of beetles who ate their way through its bark to destroy its inner strength with their tiny but incessant attacks. Something so small did what no storm or lightening blast could ever do.
Aren't many of us like the giant of the forest? Surviving the storms of life only to be brought down by little beetles of worry in our hearts. Let us not allow ourselves to be upset by small things but remember that "Life is too short to be little"~Disraeli
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Formaldehyde and You!
What comes to mind when you think of the word Formaldehyde? Dead bodies maybe? Well, you would be right but it goes so much further than that. Formaldehyde ( a recognized cancer causing agent) has been used for decades to embalm bodies for open casket burials but it is also in your everyday items. Producers use Formaldehyde and Formaldehyde releasing agents in our personal care items to ensure a longer shelf life especially in creams and lotions that can spoil due to bacterial and fungal growth. (National Cancer Institute)
On average, the normal household contains at least 150 Formaldehyde tainted products in the home. But not only is Formaldehyde in our personal care, cleaning and beauty products.........it can also actually be IN our home....... as in the materials that your house is made out of such as plywood, glue, fiberboard, particleboard and timber paneling.
As far as cleaning products go, look for labels that say "Non-toxic to humans and aquatic life," or "Biodegradable." While reading labels is great, beware of the tricky manufactures synonyms that don't usually call attention to the fact that they do contain Formaldehyde or Formaldehyde releasing agents. For a list of products check out the Household Products Database at the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services at
http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/index.htm. From there you can look up a specific item such as Dawn Dish Liquid and see what the exact ingredients are and the harmful effects that may occur.
While there you can also browse other categories such as pesticides which have been linked to ADHD in children. Exposure to pesticides in kid-friendly foods like strawberries, blueberries and celery appears to increase chances that children will be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Kids with high levels of pesticide residue in their urine, like the widely used insecticide Malathion, were more likely to have ADHD. An estimated 4-5 million U.S. children are affected by ADHA and about 2.5 million kids take meds for the condition according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Pesticides prey on the nervous system of insects and have a similar effect on mammals, including humans. The best advice for parents is to buy organic whenever possible. The Environmental Working Group, a consumer advocacy organization, advises shoppers buy organic versions of fruits and veggies that grow in the ground or are normally eaten with the skin on, because they are most likely to be contaminated. Wash all fruits and vegetables with a produce brush and rinse frozen versions as well.
On average, the normal household contains at least 150 Formaldehyde tainted products in the home. But not only is Formaldehyde in our personal care, cleaning and beauty products.........it can also actually be IN our home....... as in the materials that your house is made out of such as plywood, glue, fiberboard, particleboard and timber paneling.
As far as cleaning products go, look for labels that say "Non-toxic to humans and aquatic life," or "Biodegradable." While reading labels is great, beware of the tricky manufactures synonyms that don't usually call attention to the fact that they do contain Formaldehyde or Formaldehyde releasing agents. For a list of products check out the Household Products Database at the U.S. Dept. of Health & Human Services at
http://householdproducts.nlm.nih.gov/index.htm. From there you can look up a specific item such as Dawn Dish Liquid and see what the exact ingredients are and the harmful effects that may occur.
While there you can also browse other categories such as pesticides which have been linked to ADHD in children. Exposure to pesticides in kid-friendly foods like strawberries, blueberries and celery appears to increase chances that children will be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD. Kids with high levels of pesticide residue in their urine, like the widely used insecticide Malathion, were more likely to have ADHD. An estimated 4-5 million U.S. children are affected by ADHA and about 2.5 million kids take meds for the condition according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Pesticides prey on the nervous system of insects and have a similar effect on mammals, including humans. The best advice for parents is to buy organic whenever possible. The Environmental Working Group, a consumer advocacy organization, advises shoppers buy organic versions of fruits and veggies that grow in the ground or are normally eaten with the skin on, because they are most likely to be contaminated. Wash all fruits and vegetables with a produce brush and rinse frozen versions as well.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Post War Divorce
Something I read makes me think about the past and how screwed up it was at one time. I look back at my previous marriages and cringe at the remembrance of some memories. My first marriage didn't really last that long and I was sooo young that I barely remember most of it. I hardly ever count that one even though it did yield two beautiful children. Now, my second marriage I thought would be the death of me. I think one tries harder the second time around because who wants to be a two time loser right? I stayed and took things that I normally wouldn't from anyone else but I think my biggest problem was I could never truly be myself in that relationship. Oh, to the outward appearances we looked to be the perfect couple but behind closed doors it was a totally different story.
I worked a twelve hour swing shift and took care of his elderly grandparents that lived next door. Both in diapers, both needing a full time nurse, not someone who was just trying to figure out what the hell she was doing. I would cook most of the meals for them, wash piss soaked sheets, clean crap off of them when they messed their diapers, give insulin shots and dole out meds like I knew what I was doing. Then I would try to take a nap, keep my own house clean, cook, help 3 kids with homework, give baths, adhere to other wifely duties and then go work 12 hours in a factory. All the while my husband worked a 9 to 5 job, never cooked or cleaned or did laundry. He would come in at 4:30 and proceed to fall asleep in the chair watching the 6 o'clock news. But I didn't mind because I was in love. Me being in love meant.....I will do without sleep for 36 hours at a time so I can take your grandpa to the doctors office at the VA, I will clean shit off a 80 year woman's behind with a smile, I will work an extra 20 hours a week to buy those $2500.00 wheels and tires for your jeep baby, I will bring your dinner to you in your recliner....no don't get up, I will lay your clothes out for you before I go to work, I will pay all the bills, I will protect you from your insecurities and pain, I will give you all my time, my devotion, my body, my soul, the moon and the stars if I am in love with you. That's just the way it's always been with me. I will give until I am totally depleted and left lifeless or until someone else comes along who knows exactly what to say when I'm at my lowest, to shift my focus and the process starts all over again.
Now, I don't doubt that my husband loved me, we just couldn't figure out how to NOT make each other desperately miserable. I resented him because I had to do everything and he resented me because he didn't feel needed in the relationship. I gave him whatever he wanted and never said no to anything, so he thought I just didn't care what he did or didn't do. I was busy being Super Mom and Wife of the Year and although he got to reaps the benefits, he didn't feel that I loved him enough. He said I treated "personal time" like one more job I had to get done before I got to finally go to sleep. I thought I was being the perfect partner but as my resentment grew, so did his distance until finally there was nothing left to save. You can love someone and still resent the hell out of then. We are perfect examples of that. Even now I think we both morn our marriage years later. There were good times and lots of them. Moments I miss. But those moments are blind to you when you are going through a divorce. You forget about them until after the fact.... when your life is left in ruins around you. Broken promises and hurt feelings littered everywhere. They say no one has ever die from splitting up the furniture but there were times I thought I would....I wished I would, so I could be released from all this pain.
One of the hardest things about leaving is my ex husband has never forgiven me for it. He feels I have destroyed his life somehow...... although he's gone on with another relationship. And no many how many times we apologize and offer explanations for what happened to our marriage it's never going to banish that missing piece of me, that constant reminder, that I was the one who chose divorce over him. That is the guilt I feel every time I see him. Although we both did some pretty crappy stuff to each other during that time, he has never lost the sadness in his eyes and I know I am responsible for putting it there. Funny thing is, if someone else hurt the other one, we would be the first in line to dole out an ass whoopin'. I remember this one instance in court, for an unrelated case when my ex was called to be a character witness against me, when a lawyer asked questions about our marriage and we both started crying. He was on the stand being questioned. The lawyer was talking about how I had done this and that to him during our divorce and my ex goes, "Well yea, but we were going through a divorce and those things happen but she is totally a victim in this case." The more the lawyer talked the madder he became and started defending me like no other. After wards, outside the court house he tells me he didn't know if he was a help to me or not but he tried. We hugged and cried a little and he walked away. My attorney turns to me and says he has never seen two people love each other more and wonders aloud as to why we got a divorce. My response was and still is.....We love each other but we just can't get along. We both have very dominant personalities that clash and bang together with no respect for the other. Sometimes things are just that way. Life isn't always fair and we don't all have happy endings but at least we can maintain some sort of peace amongst ourselves. We do have a beautiful daughter and for her, I will always be grateful. She is the light of my life and his.
I worked a twelve hour swing shift and took care of his elderly grandparents that lived next door. Both in diapers, both needing a full time nurse, not someone who was just trying to figure out what the hell she was doing. I would cook most of the meals for them, wash piss soaked sheets, clean crap off of them when they messed their diapers, give insulin shots and dole out meds like I knew what I was doing. Then I would try to take a nap, keep my own house clean, cook, help 3 kids with homework, give baths, adhere to other wifely duties and then go work 12 hours in a factory. All the while my husband worked a 9 to 5 job, never cooked or cleaned or did laundry. He would come in at 4:30 and proceed to fall asleep in the chair watching the 6 o'clock news. But I didn't mind because I was in love. Me being in love meant.....I will do without sleep for 36 hours at a time so I can take your grandpa to the doctors office at the VA, I will clean shit off a 80 year woman's behind with a smile, I will work an extra 20 hours a week to buy those $2500.00 wheels and tires for your jeep baby, I will bring your dinner to you in your recliner....no don't get up, I will lay your clothes out for you before I go to work, I will pay all the bills, I will protect you from your insecurities and pain, I will give you all my time, my devotion, my body, my soul, the moon and the stars if I am in love with you. That's just the way it's always been with me. I will give until I am totally depleted and left lifeless or until someone else comes along who knows exactly what to say when I'm at my lowest, to shift my focus and the process starts all over again.
Now, I don't doubt that my husband loved me, we just couldn't figure out how to NOT make each other desperately miserable. I resented him because I had to do everything and he resented me because he didn't feel needed in the relationship. I gave him whatever he wanted and never said no to anything, so he thought I just didn't care what he did or didn't do. I was busy being Super Mom and Wife of the Year and although he got to reaps the benefits, he didn't feel that I loved him enough. He said I treated "personal time" like one more job I had to get done before I got to finally go to sleep. I thought I was being the perfect partner but as my resentment grew, so did his distance until finally there was nothing left to save. You can love someone and still resent the hell out of then. We are perfect examples of that. Even now I think we both morn our marriage years later. There were good times and lots of them. Moments I miss. But those moments are blind to you when you are going through a divorce. You forget about them until after the fact.... when your life is left in ruins around you. Broken promises and hurt feelings littered everywhere. They say no one has ever die from splitting up the furniture but there were times I thought I would....I wished I would, so I could be released from all this pain.
One of the hardest things about leaving is my ex husband has never forgiven me for it. He feels I have destroyed his life somehow...... although he's gone on with another relationship. And no many how many times we apologize and offer explanations for what happened to our marriage it's never going to banish that missing piece of me, that constant reminder, that I was the one who chose divorce over him. That is the guilt I feel every time I see him. Although we both did some pretty crappy stuff to each other during that time, he has never lost the sadness in his eyes and I know I am responsible for putting it there. Funny thing is, if someone else hurt the other one, we would be the first in line to dole out an ass whoopin'. I remember this one instance in court, for an unrelated case when my ex was called to be a character witness against me, when a lawyer asked questions about our marriage and we both started crying. He was on the stand being questioned. The lawyer was talking about how I had done this and that to him during our divorce and my ex goes, "Well yea, but we were going through a divorce and those things happen but she is totally a victim in this case." The more the lawyer talked the madder he became and started defending me like no other. After wards, outside the court house he tells me he didn't know if he was a help to me or not but he tried. We hugged and cried a little and he walked away. My attorney turns to me and says he has never seen two people love each other more and wonders aloud as to why we got a divorce. My response was and still is.....We love each other but we just can't get along. We both have very dominant personalities that clash and bang together with no respect for the other. Sometimes things are just that way. Life isn't always fair and we don't all have happy endings but at least we can maintain some sort of peace amongst ourselves. We do have a beautiful daughter and for her, I will always be grateful. She is the light of my life and his.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Things that make me happy
Tonight, like every night, I am having trouble sleeping. Now my grandpa used to tell me the reason he napped all day is because he never slept good at night and I just thought he was full of crap and had his days and nights mixed up. I guess what he said was true because the older I get the harder it is to sleep at night. So, tonight I decided I would take a long bubble bath and read a little while I soaked. I also had a glass of wine for good measure thinking if I couldn't go to sleep after this, something has got to be wrong. It doesn't get any more relaxed than this. Of course it didn't work but as I was sitting in the tub, up to my neck in bubbles, I thought to myself..... I have a pretty good life. I should probably be more thankful than I am but sometimes we get so caught up in the process of life, we forget the good stuff. Such as bubble baths for instance. Most of the time I'm lucky to get a quick shower with all the running I do. But, that also got me thinking about the other stuff that makes me happy like fresh sheets on the bed or the smell of rain after a storm. Getting prime seats at the movies or fried apple pies. Hitting all the green lights in a row or the moment of anticipation just before a kiss. The feeling you have when its the first time with someone special. Hot coco, warm blankets and marshmallows. Hanging with friends, crying at weddings and hometown football games. (Even though I don't understand football.) Basketball......now there's a sport. Go Cats!!!
Watching my kids grow. I love everything about them. They make me the happiest. Especially Brooke, when she laughs. That kid has the best laugh....EVER. Her nose wrinkles up and she has the biggest grin and a giggle that comes all the way from her toes or Courtney when she dances in the kitchen and acts silly to make me smile. She is comical and comes up with the craziest stuff to make me laugh until I cry and Jaylan because she'll always be mommy's girl and she is the bestest snuggle bunny hands down.
Other things that make me happy are: a great cup of coffee or getting the milk to cereal ratio just right. The cool side of the pillow and when they play all my favorite songs on the radio. Laughing so hard, no sound comes out at all. Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm. Sleeping naked every chance I get. Walking on grass with bare feet. Driving around with the windows down on warm summer nights. Puppies! Finding money in the dryer. Book stores and good conversations. Getting something with someones actual handwriting in the mail. Old pictures of the kids when they were little. Good memories and good friends. Heart felt compliments from someone you love. Good advice taken. Church on Sunday when the preacher is all fired up! My family. A new tube of tooth paste and the first scoop of peanut butter. A large peach sweet tea from Sonic.....easy on the ice. The perfect rare steak with a big ol baked tater with butter AND sour cream. When babies fall asleep on you and you are afraid to move. Watching scary movies in the dark. Holding hands or catching lightening bugs. Hearing from an old friend. Getting text messages. Getting my hair washed by someone else. Sleeping like a rock and waking up whenever. Vacations! Realizing that I am blessed with wonderful people in my life. These are just a few of the things that make me happy. So, how about you? Leave a comment and tell me what makes you happy.
Watching my kids grow. I love everything about them. They make me the happiest. Especially Brooke, when she laughs. That kid has the best laugh....EVER. Her nose wrinkles up and she has the biggest grin and a giggle that comes all the way from her toes or Courtney when she dances in the kitchen and acts silly to make me smile. She is comical and comes up with the craziest stuff to make me laugh until I cry and Jaylan because she'll always be mommy's girl and she is the bestest snuggle bunny hands down.
Other things that make me happy are: a great cup of coffee or getting the milk to cereal ratio just right. The cool side of the pillow and when they play all my favorite songs on the radio. Laughing so hard, no sound comes out at all. Turning off all the lights during a thunderstorm. Sleeping naked every chance I get. Walking on grass with bare feet. Driving around with the windows down on warm summer nights. Puppies! Finding money in the dryer. Book stores and good conversations. Getting something with someones actual handwriting in the mail. Old pictures of the kids when they were little. Good memories and good friends. Heart felt compliments from someone you love. Good advice taken. Church on Sunday when the preacher is all fired up! My family. A new tube of tooth paste and the first scoop of peanut butter. A large peach sweet tea from Sonic.....easy on the ice. The perfect rare steak with a big ol baked tater with butter AND sour cream. When babies fall asleep on you and you are afraid to move. Watching scary movies in the dark. Holding hands or catching lightening bugs. Hearing from an old friend. Getting text messages. Getting my hair washed by someone else. Sleeping like a rock and waking up whenever. Vacations! Realizing that I am blessed with wonderful people in my life. These are just a few of the things that make me happy. So, how about you? Leave a comment and tell me what makes you happy.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Making New Friends in Unlikely Places
I have been anemic for as long as I can remember but in the last year or so my anemia has gotten worse. I've always been tired and low on energy but considering how busy my life is, fatigue is not acceptable. Things needed to be done and I'm the mommy. However, this last year has been somewhat difficult. I get winded climbing stairs and had some rather significant weight gain. Not having enough blood causes my heart to pump harder trying to get what little I do have to the other parts of my body. This causes me to have trouble breathing at times and slows down my metabolism considerably. I've been to the doctor several times over the past year for test on my thyroid and other things. I've had a colonoscopy (that was fun, not!), an upper GI, an ultrasound of my uterus, scan of my kidneys and numerous blood tests......which by the way makes no sense to me. I'm only producing about a 1/3 of the red blood cells a person needs. My hemoglobin was at 8.2 the last time they took blood. At 7.0 a person needs a blood transfusion. If the hemoglobin drops below 7 then you start to risk damage to organs such as the lungs and heart. So, if I don't make enough blood, then why do they keep taking it from me to test? Don't I need all the blood I can get?
Anyway, I started my iron infusions this week at our new Commonwealth Cancer Center to see if maybe that will work instead of giving me a blood transfusion. I'm hooked up to an IV for 4 hours a day, every Friday for 6 weeks. This past Friday was my first. They take me back to Wing A and show me around, giving me a tour of the place. There's a little kitchen with a microwave and refrigerator. An ice machine and coffee maker and snacks of various kinds. And then..... there is the other patients. Mostly cancer patients going through their chemo treatments. I think I was the only one in the room who still had my hair besides the nurses. One particular patient was my neighbor Deborah. Before I get hooked up, I decide to grab a bit, since I'm going to be a while, and then go potty. When I return to my chair, my IV pole is already there along with some pills in a little cup. Deborah instructs me to take them and I do so figuring she knew what she was talking about. I take my place in the chair and a little nurse comes by and asks if I need a pillow or a blanket. I decline thinking I am probably the healthiest one in there room and she should probably be helping the cancer patients more. Of course the nurses a very complimentary to everyone back here in Wing A. I just feel guilty for being in this place and the only thing wrong with me is anemia.....but, this is where my Hematologist is so, this is where I need to be for the moment.
Deborah is staring out the window when I offer her a magazine I brought to spend the time. She is very pale, gaunt and wears a little UK cap on her bare head to keep her warm. She declines at first then changes her mind. She asks me about my infusion and I tell her my story then, she tells me hers. She has just recently been diagnose with throat cancer on July 4th and I had noticed the trache sticking out of her throat. She talks with a horse voice as I listen. She has been sick for a while but her regular medical doctor has yet to figure out what's wrong with her. Finally she gets bad enough for an emergency room visit one night and is diagnose within 30 minutes of her arrival with cancer. Something her doctor hadn't been unable to detect in previous months. She is given 0-6 months to live but treatment has been good to her and now her prognosis has become a 98% chance of remission. She tells me this is something very positive coming out of a very negative situation. Deborah will start radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks soon and is looking forward to getting better. She says this with a smile on her face. Deborah tells me I look tired and should probably take a nap. The medicine has made me rather sleepy. She explains taking a nap makes the treatments go faster. It's raining outside now and a nap sounds like a good idea. I close my eyes and drift off as she flips through my magazine. I awake a little while later to my nurse switching out my IV bags and Deborah is getting done with her treatment. She hands me back my magazine and asks if I had a good nap. I reply as she gathers her things. She tells the nurse she will see her again tomorrow and turns to me and says she hopes I start feeling better soon. She brushes my hand as she walks by and I think "Wow" to myself. I think she's more worried about me than she is herself. I'm not sure what to say and just kinda a nod in recognition. She shuffles off out the door and I wonder if she'll be my neighbor again next Friday when I'm here again. I hope so I think silently to myself as I watch the rain misting outside my window.........
Anyway, I started my iron infusions this week at our new Commonwealth Cancer Center to see if maybe that will work instead of giving me a blood transfusion. I'm hooked up to an IV for 4 hours a day, every Friday for 6 weeks. This past Friday was my first. They take me back to Wing A and show me around, giving me a tour of the place. There's a little kitchen with a microwave and refrigerator. An ice machine and coffee maker and snacks of various kinds. And then..... there is the other patients. Mostly cancer patients going through their chemo treatments. I think I was the only one in the room who still had my hair besides the nurses. One particular patient was my neighbor Deborah. Before I get hooked up, I decide to grab a bit, since I'm going to be a while, and then go potty. When I return to my chair, my IV pole is already there along with some pills in a little cup. Deborah instructs me to take them and I do so figuring she knew what she was talking about. I take my place in the chair and a little nurse comes by and asks if I need a pillow or a blanket. I decline thinking I am probably the healthiest one in there room and she should probably be helping the cancer patients more. Of course the nurses a very complimentary to everyone back here in Wing A. I just feel guilty for being in this place and the only thing wrong with me is anemia.....but, this is where my Hematologist is so, this is where I need to be for the moment.
Deborah is staring out the window when I offer her a magazine I brought to spend the time. She is very pale, gaunt and wears a little UK cap on her bare head to keep her warm. She declines at first then changes her mind. She asks me about my infusion and I tell her my story then, she tells me hers. She has just recently been diagnose with throat cancer on July 4th and I had noticed the trache sticking out of her throat. She talks with a horse voice as I listen. She has been sick for a while but her regular medical doctor has yet to figure out what's wrong with her. Finally she gets bad enough for an emergency room visit one night and is diagnose within 30 minutes of her arrival with cancer. Something her doctor hadn't been unable to detect in previous months. She is given 0-6 months to live but treatment has been good to her and now her prognosis has become a 98% chance of remission. She tells me this is something very positive coming out of a very negative situation. Deborah will start radiation 5 days a week for 8 weeks soon and is looking forward to getting better. She says this with a smile on her face. Deborah tells me I look tired and should probably take a nap. The medicine has made me rather sleepy. She explains taking a nap makes the treatments go faster. It's raining outside now and a nap sounds like a good idea. I close my eyes and drift off as she flips through my magazine. I awake a little while later to my nurse switching out my IV bags and Deborah is getting done with her treatment. She hands me back my magazine and asks if I had a good nap. I reply as she gathers her things. She tells the nurse she will see her again tomorrow and turns to me and says she hopes I start feeling better soon. She brushes my hand as she walks by and I think "Wow" to myself. I think she's more worried about me than she is herself. I'm not sure what to say and just kinda a nod in recognition. She shuffles off out the door and I wonder if she'll be my neighbor again next Friday when I'm here again. I hope so I think silently to myself as I watch the rain misting outside my window.........
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
My Accomplishment
So, today I'm going through my filing cabinet and run across some stories I had written and some little journal entries. One of them was called My Accomplishment. I think I wrote this when the girls were maybe 3, 4 and 7 years old and I still feel the same way.
Yesterday was my birthday and here I sit depressed as another year has blown by me and I wonder what did I accomplish this past year that was all that amazing. Nothing that I can think of....then I hear the kids playing outside. I don't think there's a sound sweeter that the giggling of three little girls so, I step out into the evening sun to see what all the hub bub is about. They don't even notice me standing on the deck watching them. They are too consumed in play. Jaylan is lying in the grass limp and lifeless pretending she's dead. Eyes shut as tight as she can get them, trying not to laugh while Brooke and Courtney stand over her crying. "Poor princess Jaylan has died!" "Now we must bury her beneath the magic tree," they shout. Then Brooke grabs Jay's arms and Courtney her legs and they drag her down the yard to our Mimosa tree.There they pull the pink blooms from the tree and sprinkle them over Jaylan's body and say a few inaudible words I can't hear for the distance. Suddenly, as if by magic, Jaylan rises from the grave and says, "I live!" "I live!" Then they dance in a circle, holding hands like little fairies and sing songs. I guess this means Jaylan has escaped the evil wrath of the Warlock Midnite (played by our dog) and lives to rule her kingdom for another day. Then I realized that the biggest accomplishment, I've ever made or ever will, is giving life to these incredible little girls who teach me everyday more about life than I will probably ever teach them. Thank God for little girls.....
Yesterday was my birthday and here I sit depressed as another year has blown by me and I wonder what did I accomplish this past year that was all that amazing. Nothing that I can think of....then I hear the kids playing outside. I don't think there's a sound sweeter that the giggling of three little girls so, I step out into the evening sun to see what all the hub bub is about. They don't even notice me standing on the deck watching them. They are too consumed in play. Jaylan is lying in the grass limp and lifeless pretending she's dead. Eyes shut as tight as she can get them, trying not to laugh while Brooke and Courtney stand over her crying. "Poor princess Jaylan has died!" "Now we must bury her beneath the magic tree," they shout. Then Brooke grabs Jay's arms and Courtney her legs and they drag her down the yard to our Mimosa tree.There they pull the pink blooms from the tree and sprinkle them over Jaylan's body and say a few inaudible words I can't hear for the distance. Suddenly, as if by magic, Jaylan rises from the grave and says, "I live!" "I live!" Then they dance in a circle, holding hands like little fairies and sing songs. I guess this means Jaylan has escaped the evil wrath of the Warlock Midnite (played by our dog) and lives to rule her kingdom for another day. Then I realized that the biggest accomplishment, I've ever made or ever will, is giving life to these incredible little girls who teach me everyday more about life than I will probably ever teach them. Thank God for little girls.....
A Chattanooga Good Time!
I just got back from a weekend with friends in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I absolutely love Chattanooga! It's one of the cleanest cities I've visited and has lots to offer. One of the things this city has is great food. I visited the BoatHouse Restaurant right on the Tennessee River for lunch during my stay. We all ate deck side enjoying the beautiful weather and the awesome smells coming from inside the kitchen. All your meats are cooked with wood giving my Beef Brisket with Au jou and horseradish sauce a savory mesquite flavor sided with olive fries and a homemade slaw. For an appetizer we also enjoyed some of the best calamari and fried onions I have ever tasted. I took some fabulous pics out by the waterfront as boats floated by with a beautiful golf course and stately mansions as my backdrop. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was perfect!
However, just because I was out of state, that was no excuse for missing the UK/Louisville game......off to the Chattanooga Billiards and Cigar Bar. There we took our seats to see Kentucky draw first blood with the first touchdown of the game just minutes after kickoff. My friends had a running bet.....Lige for Louisville and Chelsey for UK. Of course I had to side with Chelse on this one and we dogged Lige hard everytime UK made a play. It was all in the name of good fun, good cigars and ice cold beer though. What else could you want? Suddenly the owner (Phil) walks up to us and asked if we would rather watch the game in the exclusive Havana Room? It is members only folks! The computer on the door has to read your fingerprint to get in! How exclusive in that? And of course we graciously excepted his offer. Duh! who wouldn't? The room was beautifully decorated with large overstuffed leather chairs, couches and ottomans. Stained glass lamps sat atop wooded side tables. Bookshelves were covered with memorabilia and trophies and pictures of famous people adorn the walls. Signed autographed this and that... with piles of Cigar Aficionado magazines laying here and there. Sweet cigar smoke hung in the air as a little waitress wearing a football jersey ran in and out catering to our every whim. I was impressed to say the least. I took my place on one of the fat leathery sofas and kicked my black Chuck Taylor's up on the coffee table like I lived there and listen to my sister Bev and Phil talk of days gone bye. I watched and giggled as I listen to Chelsey and Lige argue back and forth about the game. I even got to see my buddy Steve on TV (covering the sports for News Channel 27 back home) following Joker Phillips after the game. Kentucky won of course, so now it's off to dinner at the Chattanooga Macaroni Grill for some wine and Chicken Marsala to celebrate. Whoohoo!
Ok, so when I wasn't eating and spending time with friends I did go on top of the Lookout Mountain to get some breath taking views and pics of the whole city of Chattanooga. Just a few of the attractions Chattanooga offers is the Incline Railroad, Ruby Falls and Rock City. Then there is always the Tennessee Aquarium and a scenic tour of the river offered by the Southern Belle River Boat. As far as down town and the arts scene goes.........Chattanooga’s arts scene is second to none. Take in one of the nation’s largest collections of American art. Discover the many galleries and emerging artists at places such as Bluff View, NorthShore and Southside districts. This is truly a treasure of a city and worth stopping in to take a look. And while your there, check out the City Cafe' for breakfast and don't forget to shop at the many outlets stores down Gun Barrel Road. Yep, that's really the name of the road. Go figure! So, next time you find yourself in Tennessee, stop bye some of these places and tell them Vanessa sent ya! Probably won't do you any good but it's worth a try! lol
However, just because I was out of state, that was no excuse for missing the UK/Louisville game......off to the Chattanooga Billiards and Cigar Bar. There we took our seats to see Kentucky draw first blood with the first touchdown of the game just minutes after kickoff. My friends had a running bet.....Lige for Louisville and Chelsey for UK. Of course I had to side with Chelse on this one and we dogged Lige hard everytime UK made a play. It was all in the name of good fun, good cigars and ice cold beer though. What else could you want? Suddenly the owner (Phil) walks up to us and asked if we would rather watch the game in the exclusive Havana Room? It is members only folks! The computer on the door has to read your fingerprint to get in! How exclusive in that? And of course we graciously excepted his offer. Duh! who wouldn't? The room was beautifully decorated with large overstuffed leather chairs, couches and ottomans. Stained glass lamps sat atop wooded side tables. Bookshelves were covered with memorabilia and trophies and pictures of famous people adorn the walls. Signed autographed this and that... with piles of Cigar Aficionado magazines laying here and there. Sweet cigar smoke hung in the air as a little waitress wearing a football jersey ran in and out catering to our every whim. I was impressed to say the least. I took my place on one of the fat leathery sofas and kicked my black Chuck Taylor's up on the coffee table like I lived there and listen to my sister Bev and Phil talk of days gone bye. I watched and giggled as I listen to Chelsey and Lige argue back and forth about the game. I even got to see my buddy Steve on TV (covering the sports for News Channel 27 back home) following Joker Phillips after the game. Kentucky won of course, so now it's off to dinner at the Chattanooga Macaroni Grill for some wine and Chicken Marsala to celebrate. Whoohoo!
Ok, so when I wasn't eating and spending time with friends I did go on top of the Lookout Mountain to get some breath taking views and pics of the whole city of Chattanooga. Just a few of the attractions Chattanooga offers is the Incline Railroad, Ruby Falls and Rock City. Then there is always the Tennessee Aquarium and a scenic tour of the river offered by the Southern Belle River Boat. As far as down town and the arts scene goes.........Chattanooga’s arts scene is second to none. Take in one of the nation’s largest collections of American art. Discover the many galleries and emerging artists at places such as Bluff View, NorthShore and Southside districts. This is truly a treasure of a city and worth stopping in to take a look. And while your there, check out the City Cafe' for breakfast and don't forget to shop at the many outlets stores down Gun Barrel Road. Yep, that's really the name of the road. Go figure! So, next time you find yourself in Tennessee, stop bye some of these places and tell them Vanessa sent ya! Probably won't do you any good but it's worth a try! lol
Monday, September 6, 2010
Morning Walk
I wake up at around 9:00 am....... stretch and yawn and slide out of bed. I say slide because that is exactly what I do. I have a huge king size bed that hits me above my waist and since I am a shorty anyway, I practically look like a 4 year old climbing into my bed every night........ And every morning slide off the side and land on my feet to start the day.
I step out on the porch to test the morning air and temperature. Absolutely perfect weather for a stroll through the neighborhood. Not too hot.....not too cool.... just right and off I go. Most everyone has decided to sleep in I suppose. Some houses are very quiet. No one seems to be stirring quite yet except for old Mr. Nantz 4 doors down. He's out shuffling around in his garage with it's doors open wide, tinkering on some new project I'm sure. He notices me and throws a hand up. "Good morning!" he says. I smile and reply, "Good morning to you!" and walk on. Now Mr. Nantz used to own the local pool supply store here in town and put in my first pool about 17 years ago. Him and his wife moved here this summer from a gorgeous two story house in Rowland. I guess the house had gotten too big for them to handle so they found a perfect little single story on my street to meet their needs. I discovered this one day, out walking, when I saw him outside building a little picket fence around his back yard. "Mr. Nantz, is that you?" I asked. And although he is a spry as a spring chicken, I think Mr. Nantz is up into his seventies, he still remembers me and where I live 17 years ago. "Hey, Vanessa!" "How are you?" he says. "Wow, you remember Mr. Nantz?" I ask. "Well, of course I do." "I put that pool in for you a few years back out there in Maywood." he reply's as I stand there stunned as to why I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but here this little old man remembers the day we met almost 20 years before. He hasn't changed much. Still looks the same after all these years just a little more white headed than before. I remember this memory as I move on down the street.
Around the corner the windows are open at Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw's and I can hear pots and pans banging and cabinet doors closing as she prepares breakfast this morning. I can also here Mr. Bradshaw complaining in the background about Mrs. B leaving the stove on last time and nearly burning the house down. I smile as I pass by secretly listening in on the conversation. I approach the corner....I can go left or right and still make it back to my house. I decide to take the long route this morning. It's quite a bit hilly but I can use the exercise I tell myself. To the right I go.....
I soon come upon a couple out walking and a mother and daughter with a little dog. So, I'm not the only one out of bed enjoying this day. We all wave as we pass each other and comment on the weather. Everyone is friendly and smiling. I don't know everyone in my neighborhood but I do know a few of the family's that dwell here. Like the Johnsons and the Kidds and the Harris's and then there is Mrs. Belcher and Mrs. Davis. No matter how many walks I take through the neighborhood, I always notice something different, whether it be an old oak tree or some new flowers or maybe just a little fountain in someones yard that I probably passed a hundred times. Everyone's grass has turned brown and the leaves are starting to turn their fall colors. Winter will soon follow.
Now I'm starting my climb up Edgewood and it seems its up hill all the way. I just stare at my feet and analyze the cracks in the road. I ponder on how long the cracks have been there and I look at the pebbles that have been moved up and down the street by someones tires. Wow, there's a 75 cent sticker stuck to the pavement from a previous yard sale. A tiger stripped cat is sitting in the road just up ahead looking at me lazily. It just yawns as I walk by. Almost to the top now...... legs burning, heart pumping, breathing harder. I make it to the end of the street and take a right on Hilltopper Drive. I can see my house....home sweet home. Yay! I start to catch my breath as I approach my driveway. I stumble up the steps of the porch with heavy feet and satisfaction. I fall into my wicker rocker and just close my eyes. I can hear a buzzing above my head as I open my eyes to a hummingbird sitting on the side of the feeder I recently hung. I make my own sugar water for the feeder and I assume he approves. He hovers for a few and flys off happily.
Ok, time for coffee........Happy Labor Day everyone!!!
I step out on the porch to test the morning air and temperature. Absolutely perfect weather for a stroll through the neighborhood. Not too hot.....not too cool.... just right and off I go. Most everyone has decided to sleep in I suppose. Some houses are very quiet. No one seems to be stirring quite yet except for old Mr. Nantz 4 doors down. He's out shuffling around in his garage with it's doors open wide, tinkering on some new project I'm sure. He notices me and throws a hand up. "Good morning!" he says. I smile and reply, "Good morning to you!" and walk on. Now Mr. Nantz used to own the local pool supply store here in town and put in my first pool about 17 years ago. Him and his wife moved here this summer from a gorgeous two story house in Rowland. I guess the house had gotten too big for them to handle so they found a perfect little single story on my street to meet their needs. I discovered this one day, out walking, when I saw him outside building a little picket fence around his back yard. "Mr. Nantz, is that you?" I asked. And although he is a spry as a spring chicken, I think Mr. Nantz is up into his seventies, he still remembers me and where I live 17 years ago. "Hey, Vanessa!" "How are you?" he says. "Wow, you remember Mr. Nantz?" I ask. "Well, of course I do." "I put that pool in for you a few years back out there in Maywood." he reply's as I stand there stunned as to why I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday but here this little old man remembers the day we met almost 20 years before. He hasn't changed much. Still looks the same after all these years just a little more white headed than before. I remember this memory as I move on down the street.
Around the corner the windows are open at Mr. and Mrs. Bradshaw's and I can hear pots and pans banging and cabinet doors closing as she prepares breakfast this morning. I can also here Mr. Bradshaw complaining in the background about Mrs. B leaving the stove on last time and nearly burning the house down. I smile as I pass by secretly listening in on the conversation. I approach the corner....I can go left or right and still make it back to my house. I decide to take the long route this morning. It's quite a bit hilly but I can use the exercise I tell myself. To the right I go.....
I soon come upon a couple out walking and a mother and daughter with a little dog. So, I'm not the only one out of bed enjoying this day. We all wave as we pass each other and comment on the weather. Everyone is friendly and smiling. I don't know everyone in my neighborhood but I do know a few of the family's that dwell here. Like the Johnsons and the Kidds and the Harris's and then there is Mrs. Belcher and Mrs. Davis. No matter how many walks I take through the neighborhood, I always notice something different, whether it be an old oak tree or some new flowers or maybe just a little fountain in someones yard that I probably passed a hundred times. Everyone's grass has turned brown and the leaves are starting to turn their fall colors. Winter will soon follow.
Now I'm starting my climb up Edgewood and it seems its up hill all the way. I just stare at my feet and analyze the cracks in the road. I ponder on how long the cracks have been there and I look at the pebbles that have been moved up and down the street by someones tires. Wow, there's a 75 cent sticker stuck to the pavement from a previous yard sale. A tiger stripped cat is sitting in the road just up ahead looking at me lazily. It just yawns as I walk by. Almost to the top now...... legs burning, heart pumping, breathing harder. I make it to the end of the street and take a right on Hilltopper Drive. I can see my house....home sweet home. Yay! I start to catch my breath as I approach my driveway. I stumble up the steps of the porch with heavy feet and satisfaction. I fall into my wicker rocker and just close my eyes. I can hear a buzzing above my head as I open my eyes to a hummingbird sitting on the side of the feeder I recently hung. I make my own sugar water for the feeder and I assume he approves. He hovers for a few and flys off happily.
Ok, time for coffee........Happy Labor Day everyone!!!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Take Your Vitamins
Recently I've discovered a new vitamin which contains Oligo. It's called Vitality for Women by the Melaleuca Wellness Company. One of the things that makes Melaleuca vitamins stand out is the fact they are 10 times more soluble than store brands. The earth gives us all the minerals the human body needs, however eating dirt is not really a workable option for most. Oligo does what fruits and vegetables do naturally and Oligo has 5 times the greater antioxidant protection than any other brand.The science behind these great vitamins discovered that minerals release free radicals into the body during digestion. Free radicals can actually cancel out antioxidants. Oligo keeps minerals soluble and available for absorption. Tests using live, intestinal cells demonstrates Oligo solubility through intestinal walls and not only just the intestinal track but Oligo offers major protection for the heart, lungs and liver from the damaging effects of free radicals in the body. You would have to take 33 Centrum or 15 One a Day to equal one Vitality pack from Melaleuca. The Vitality pack contains a multivitamin and mineral supplement that has 24 essential nutrients to deliver maximum mineral availability and antioxidant protection. A calcium supplement blended with magnesium, phosphorus and vitamin D to promote strong bones. A cellwise supplement to protect against free radicals which also promotes healthy skin using olive oil and grape seed extracts, lycopene, carotenoids and vitamind C. And last but not least, a supplement with two strains of probiotics to improve absorption and maintain digestive health.
For those Lipitor users with high cholesterol there is Phytomega. Using both Omega-3s and plant phytosterols, Phytomega can lower triglycerides by 26% and LDL cholesterol by up to 29%. Phytomega is nature's answer to high cholesterol.
And hey, if you love your dog, they got that covered too with ProCare dogs treats powered by Oligo for joint protection and healthy coat.
If you are interested in receiving information about Melaleuca products please contact me at either www.homeandhappy.fourpointwellness.com or just email me at vanessa.sowders37@gmail.com. I would be happy to answer any questions. I hope this blog was helpful.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Grownups
I recently watched the new Adam Sandler movie Grownups . I love, love, loved it! That's almost exactly like it was growing up for me. Playing out side in the dirt on long summer days. Not wanting to come in at dark because I was too busy chasing lightening bugs. Making mud pies and eating apples right off my Grandpa's tree (without washing them first). I drank water straight out of the hose, not the bottle. I played in the creek and took long trips over my Uncle Tob's farm with my cousin Tootie looking for arrow heads. I know what it feels like to step in cow poo with bare feet! My other cousin Cindy use to make me hoola skirts with limbs from the old willow tree in front of the house. My siblings and I grew up without cell phones, DVD's, computers, video chat, Nintendo, Playstations and surround sound. Our family had one TV in the den and only 5 channels.My Mother smoked when she was pregnant and took aspirin for a headache. There were no locked doors or child proof cabinets. I rode my bike without a helmet and rode in the back of the truck every chance I got.
I can remember my Grandfather's work shop. He would spend hours in there working on stuff and sometimes I would help. It didn't matter that I was a girl. He viewed me and my cousins the same.....he treated us ALL like boys! So, I was a very big tom boy growing up. I hung tobacco, put up hay and fenced right along with the rest. One day I walked in the shop and asked my Grandpa for some tools because I wanted to build a fort down by the woods. He told me no and to run along a play. I was determined so I proceeded to build anyway. I had a hatchet (don't ask me why I owned a hatchet) that I used to cut down small trees. I used vines or bailing twine to tie the logs together. After about 3 hours of working on my "project" I see my Grandpa walking through the field towards me with something in this hand. I figuring at this point I'm in big trouble for cutting down trees but he just walked up with a coffee can full of nails, a hammer and a little hand saw. He sat the items down, turned and walked off without a word.
My generation and the one before survived being put to bed on our tummies in cribs painted with lead based paint. We fell out of trees, broke bones, got in fights and no lawsuits were ever filed. We walked to friends houses by ourselves. Tried out for little league and those of us who didn't make it just had to deal with disappointment. We ate biscuits and gravy every morning for breakfast, drank a gallon of Kool Aid a day and never worried about getting fat. Germs were never considered when sharing your ice cream with your best bud. What Mama said was gospel and we got our butts busted on a regular basis. Sunday was a day of rest and spending time with family in church.
And out of this generation has come some of the best innovators of all time all because we had the freedom to try, fail and try again in a time before lawyers and government regulated the life out of us. Before they took God out of our schools and hope from our lives. I'm proud to have grown up in this time and wish my kids had the experiences that I had in a time that was more innocent than now. It scares me to think of what kind of world my kid's kids are going to grown up in....
So, if you got to grow up in the 50's, 60's or 70's...rejoice for being one of the last generations of kids being kids! Tell stories, share memories and pass down favorite times in your life. Let them know how good WE had it.........
I can remember my Grandfather's work shop. He would spend hours in there working on stuff and sometimes I would help. It didn't matter that I was a girl. He viewed me and my cousins the same.....he treated us ALL like boys! So, I was a very big tom boy growing up. I hung tobacco, put up hay and fenced right along with the rest. One day I walked in the shop and asked my Grandpa for some tools because I wanted to build a fort down by the woods. He told me no and to run along a play. I was determined so I proceeded to build anyway. I had a hatchet (don't ask me why I owned a hatchet) that I used to cut down small trees. I used vines or bailing twine to tie the logs together. After about 3 hours of working on my "project" I see my Grandpa walking through the field towards me with something in this hand. I figuring at this point I'm in big trouble for cutting down trees but he just walked up with a coffee can full of nails, a hammer and a little hand saw. He sat the items down, turned and walked off without a word.
My generation and the one before survived being put to bed on our tummies in cribs painted with lead based paint. We fell out of trees, broke bones, got in fights and no lawsuits were ever filed. We walked to friends houses by ourselves. Tried out for little league and those of us who didn't make it just had to deal with disappointment. We ate biscuits and gravy every morning for breakfast, drank a gallon of Kool Aid a day and never worried about getting fat. Germs were never considered when sharing your ice cream with your best bud. What Mama said was gospel and we got our butts busted on a regular basis. Sunday was a day of rest and spending time with family in church.
And out of this generation has come some of the best innovators of all time all because we had the freedom to try, fail and try again in a time before lawyers and government regulated the life out of us. Before they took God out of our schools and hope from our lives. I'm proud to have grown up in this time and wish my kids had the experiences that I had in a time that was more innocent than now. It scares me to think of what kind of world my kid's kids are going to grown up in....
So, if you got to grow up in the 50's, 60's or 70's...rejoice for being one of the last generations of kids being kids! Tell stories, share memories and pass down favorite times in your life. Let them know how good WE had it.........
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Influence
No matter who you are or what you do, everybody wants the ability to influence others. Whether it be in business, relationships or simply trying to get your 3 year old to eat peas, influence is the one thing that effects us all. Influence transcends gender, color, age, background and all walks of life. It can be positive or it can be deadly depending on the circumstance.
Consider a girl who wants love but doesn't know where to look. She wants to be close to someone but doesn't know how to trust. She becomes defiant, drifting, desperate and debilitated. Her family and friends want to be able to influence her but don't know how to go about it. The fact of the matter is we can't talk our way into influence.......we have to behave our way. Ever heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words"? If we want to influence the people around us, our actions have to match our words. A perfect example of this would be Ghandi. Anything Ghandi ever thought, he said. Whatever Ghandi ever said, he did. One man who brought a country to its knees by his own example.
I once worked for a guy who used to tell me all the time, "Vanessa, nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care." Unless we are willing to build relationships by example, our influence will always be limited. It took me a long time to understand this. I went through a lot of frustrations and self-evaluations. Sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and admit that maybe you were wrong or maybe you didn't handle a situation properly. Some people however, will always blame someone or something else for their lack of influence. They refuse to pay the price of change on which the "Holy Grail" of leadership rests.
Recently our community suffered a devastating lose. A friend of my daughters and a beautiful young girl took her own life. I can't imagine the pain that must have consumed this child or the version of reality that she lived on a day to day basis. I went to a Seventh Day Slumber concert a few months ago and was moved by the amount of teens who where truly hurting. When front man Joseph Rojas told his story and then asked the crowd how many of them had felt like or had attempted to take their own life hundreds of hands shot up. As a mother my heart broke in two and I wanted to take each any everyone of those teens home that night and show them that someone did care about them. As a parents, teachers and community leaders we truly need to re-evaluate our circle of influence among our kids.
“I understand what it means to hurt so badly that suicide seems like the only option,” says Rojas. “I know what it means to be abused, to be addicted, to feel abandoned and empty, hopeless and depressed, lost and confused. But I also understand what it means to be accepted by a King and loved by the creator of the universe. We are a generation who has no clue who we are. Our young people are searching for purpose, a reason to live."
I urge everyone to try to lead by example. Pay attention to what's going on in your communities and homes. Understand how you can use your influence to make a positive change in someones life. Most importantly, know that someone out there cares about you and has been through it too. You are not alone in this world.
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you hurting?
Are you facing a difficult situation?
Consider a girl who wants love but doesn't know where to look. She wants to be close to someone but doesn't know how to trust. She becomes defiant, drifting, desperate and debilitated. Her family and friends want to be able to influence her but don't know how to go about it. The fact of the matter is we can't talk our way into influence.......we have to behave our way. Ever heard the saying, "Actions speak louder than words"? If we want to influence the people around us, our actions have to match our words. A perfect example of this would be Ghandi. Anything Ghandi ever thought, he said. Whatever Ghandi ever said, he did. One man who brought a country to its knees by his own example.
I once worked for a guy who used to tell me all the time, "Vanessa, nobody cares what you know until they know how much you care." Unless we are willing to build relationships by example, our influence will always be limited. It took me a long time to understand this. I went through a lot of frustrations and self-evaluations. Sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror and admit that maybe you were wrong or maybe you didn't handle a situation properly. Some people however, will always blame someone or something else for their lack of influence. They refuse to pay the price of change on which the "Holy Grail" of leadership rests.
Recently our community suffered a devastating lose. A friend of my daughters and a beautiful young girl took her own life. I can't imagine the pain that must have consumed this child or the version of reality that she lived on a day to day basis. I went to a Seventh Day Slumber concert a few months ago and was moved by the amount of teens who where truly hurting. When front man Joseph Rojas told his story and then asked the crowd how many of them had felt like or had attempted to take their own life hundreds of hands shot up. As a mother my heart broke in two and I wanted to take each any everyone of those teens home that night and show them that someone did care about them. As a parents, teachers and community leaders we truly need to re-evaluate our circle of influence among our kids.
“I understand what it means to hurt so badly that suicide seems like the only option,” says Rojas. “I know what it means to be abused, to be addicted, to feel abandoned and empty, hopeless and depressed, lost and confused. But I also understand what it means to be accepted by a King and loved by the creator of the universe. We are a generation who has no clue who we are. Our young people are searching for purpose, a reason to live."
I urge everyone to try to lead by example. Pay attention to what's going on in your communities and homes. Understand how you can use your influence to make a positive change in someones life. Most importantly, know that someone out there cares about you and has been through it too. You are not alone in this world.
Are you seeking answers in life? Are you hurting?
Are you facing a difficult situation?
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A caring friend will be there to pray with you in your time of need.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Texting.......from across the hall.
So, I'm talking to a friend on Face Book last night and she's telling me that her son has invited my daughter to the lake for the weekend. My friend Donna wants to know if Courtney's going or not and I'm telling her, "I don't know. I'm in the bed with my laptop but I will text her and ask." I text my daughter, who is across the hall, on my Iphone, to see if she is going to the lake or not. I then reply to my friend Donna on Face Book telling that in fact Courtney is going to the lake this weekend with her son. Seriously, have we gotten so lazy folks? I suppose so. I do however, remember the first time we got a microwave, a cordless phone and a VCR. Man, I thought my family was livin' well. I still had to set tobacco plants, help get in hay and work in the garden growing up. Real manual labor and it didn't matter if it was 110 degrees outside. My kids get mad if I ask them to check the mail in the middle of the day! "But Mom, it's sooo hot outside." "Do I have to right now?" Everything is "I'll do it later," but when they want something, they want it right then.
I know that I had it better than my parents and our kids have it better than us, but is it really benefiting them in the long run? I mean my kids don't know how to boil water people! I sometimes wonder what would happen if we lost everything we had and had to start over. I mean everything......no car, no house and no cell phone. Oh... I know.... scary thought huh? I mean go back to Little House on the Prairie days. How do you think our children would fair? Well, I don't know how long mine would last, but I'd probably blow my own brains out to escape all the whining that would be going on.
Other things have changed since I grew up. Our kids are living in a faster paced society. Most children have a cell phone by the age of 11 and the percentage of both parents working outside the home has increased. Seventy percent of women with children at home work outside of the home. (Leadership in Action, July 2010) Twenty eight percent of families eat dinner together seven nights a week. Teenagers eat fast food more often and parent-child communication has been on the decline. (Leadership in Action, July 2010)
Lucky for me, I can work at home now and be here to listen to my whinny kids. I can text them from the kitchen to see what they want to eat for supper. It's not the solution, but it's a start. I used to have to work a 12 hour swing shift. Now I work with FourPointGroup around my family's needs. I work when I want for as long as I want. Some days, I don't work at all...... I just sit with my girls and listen to them complain about this and that. Yea, they are spoiled and they can't do anything but at least I'm here to teach them.......just as soon as I get off Face Book. haha
Truly, I have found that most people who work for themselves are in a higher tax bracket. According to the U.S. Dept of Agriculture more American's personal income is coming from government benefits and less and less from private wages than ever before in history. Economists report a downturn in jobs with private employers combined with governments handouts is creating a trend that could become unsustainable. USA Today reports that benefits from Social Security, unemployment, food stamps and other programs have reached a record high during the first 3 months of 2010. In fact 1 in 2 Americans receive income from govt programs. 1 in 5 Americans hold a govt job or are dependent of federal spending. 1 in 5 Americans receive Social Security or other govt pension. About 19 million receive food stamps, 2 million get subsidized housing and 5 million get educational grants. (Christian Science Monitor) If private businesses continue to deteriorate the govt won't be able to tax private wages to support their expensive programming. More than half of all Americans receive some sort of income from govt programs.
I work for a company that has been in business since 1985 and owes no loans and has never asked for a govt bail out. We have continually made a profit every year for the last twenty five years no matter what the economy looks like. So nowadays I'm able to sleep better knowing that a have a secure income with a company that allows me to spend time with my kids and tell them about the good ole days when I had to walk to school... bare foot.... in the snow..... up hill both ways just like my parents did.
I know that I had it better than my parents and our kids have it better than us, but is it really benefiting them in the long run? I mean my kids don't know how to boil water people! I sometimes wonder what would happen if we lost everything we had and had to start over. I mean everything......no car, no house and no cell phone. Oh... I know.... scary thought huh? I mean go back to Little House on the Prairie days. How do you think our children would fair? Well, I don't know how long mine would last, but I'd probably blow my own brains out to escape all the whining that would be going on.
Other things have changed since I grew up. Our kids are living in a faster paced society. Most children have a cell phone by the age of 11 and the percentage of both parents working outside the home has increased. Seventy percent of women with children at home work outside of the home. (Leadership in Action, July 2010) Twenty eight percent of families eat dinner together seven nights a week. Teenagers eat fast food more often and parent-child communication has been on the decline. (Leadership in Action, July 2010)
Lucky for me, I can work at home now and be here to listen to my whinny kids. I can text them from the kitchen to see what they want to eat for supper. It's not the solution, but it's a start. I used to have to work a 12 hour swing shift. Now I work with FourPointGroup around my family's needs. I work when I want for as long as I want. Some days, I don't work at all...... I just sit with my girls and listen to them complain about this and that. Yea, they are spoiled and they can't do anything but at least I'm here to teach them.......just as soon as I get off Face Book. haha
Truly, I have found that most people who work for themselves are in a higher tax bracket. According to the U.S. Dept of Agriculture more American's personal income is coming from government benefits and less and less from private wages than ever before in history. Economists report a downturn in jobs with private employers combined with governments handouts is creating a trend that could become unsustainable. USA Today reports that benefits from Social Security, unemployment, food stamps and other programs have reached a record high during the first 3 months of 2010. In fact 1 in 2 Americans receive income from govt programs. 1 in 5 Americans hold a govt job or are dependent of federal spending. 1 in 5 Americans receive Social Security or other govt pension. About 19 million receive food stamps, 2 million get subsidized housing and 5 million get educational grants. (Christian Science Monitor) If private businesses continue to deteriorate the govt won't be able to tax private wages to support their expensive programming. More than half of all Americans receive some sort of income from govt programs.
I work for a company that has been in business since 1985 and owes no loans and has never asked for a govt bail out. We have continually made a profit every year for the last twenty five years no matter what the economy looks like. So nowadays I'm able to sleep better knowing that a have a secure income with a company that allows me to spend time with my kids and tell them about the good ole days when I had to walk to school... bare foot.... in the snow..... up hill both ways just like my parents did.
Monday, August 2, 2010
A Four Point Mom
The life of a working mom is difficult to say the least. She is up at dawn fixing breakfast and getting children ready for school, then off to work. Then after putting in a full work day, it's back home for dinner, laundry, help with homework, a bedtime story and the rest of the work she didn't get finished at the office, only to get up and do it all over again. Needless to say that 40% of women today have taken on the role of bread-winner. (Leadership in Action, July 2010)
Mommies definitely know how to multitask which makes them exceptional workers and very valuable to employers. A Four Point Moms fit that description too, however we are able to put our families first. How you ask? Four Point moms can work part time or full time and still contributed thousands of dollars to their family incomes without having to report to an office. By working from home, they can benefit from having the best of both worlds: a home life and career. At FourPointGroup, LLC we help moms earn an income from home so they can be with the ones that mean the most. Build your own business around your family's schedule with FourPointGroup, LLC instead of having to live your life around a un-fulfilling dead end job. Find real, lasting freedom from lost time with loved ones and financial stresses.
I just want to say joining FourPointGroup, LLC was the best decision I have ever made for me and my family. I now can be with my daughters, be at all their events and relish every precious moment as they move closer to adulthood everyday. I never knew how much I was missing because I wasn't there, but now I love my life, I am closer to my family and I am living well. Come join me in living the dream while working with a company rooted in value and strengthened through unity. Welcome home to FourPointGroup.
Mommies definitely know how to multitask which makes them exceptional workers and very valuable to employers. A Four Point Moms fit that description too, however we are able to put our families first. How you ask? Four Point moms can work part time or full time and still contributed thousands of dollars to their family incomes without having to report to an office. By working from home, they can benefit from having the best of both worlds: a home life and career. At FourPointGroup, LLC we help moms earn an income from home so they can be with the ones that mean the most. Build your own business around your family's schedule with FourPointGroup, LLC instead of having to live your life around a un-fulfilling dead end job. Find real, lasting freedom from lost time with loved ones and financial stresses.
I just want to say joining FourPointGroup, LLC was the best decision I have ever made for me and my family. I now can be with my daughters, be at all their events and relish every precious moment as they move closer to adulthood everyday. I never knew how much I was missing because I wasn't there, but now I love my life, I am closer to my family and I am living well. Come join me in living the dream while working with a company rooted in value and strengthened through unity. Welcome home to FourPointGroup.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
What do Shalane Flanagan and Flood Waters Have in Common?
Ever heard of Shalane Flanagan? Well, she is an Olympic Bronze Medalist who also holds four American records for the indoor/outdoor 10,000 and 5,000 meters and a handful of other National Championships titles.(Leadership in Action, July 2010) More importantly she is one of our customers. Shalane understands what FourPointGroup is all about. The four points of wellness are: physical wellness, personal wellness, financial wellness and last but not least environmental wellness. This is what we stand for at FourPointGroup, LLC and I am happy to be a part of this business. Not only am I able to support my family from the comfort of my own home, but I am being environmentally aware and personally fulfilled in the process.
What once was a mere secondary income became one family's saving grace. Not so long ago when flood waters left over 2,600 people homeless, Executive Director Rhonda Hendrix and her husband Michael almost lost their home as well. Micheal did not work for nearly 3 months. Fortunately, they were able to rely on the residual income they received working with our partner company and managed to put the pieces back together. The Hendrix's were able to remodel their home and replace some the their belongings without having to worry about the financial strains of not having flood insurance. (Leadership in Action, July 2010)
Having time for what matters most is another advantage to working at home with FourPointGroup, LLC.
"Spend time with those you love today. One day you'll either say 'I wish I had' or 'I'm glad I did.'"--Zig Ziglar. Work with a company that puts ethics and integrity first. Working with FourPointGroup, LLC you play a vital role in the account set-up, customer service, marketing, and training for an internationally known company. Part Time and Full time positions available from your home office. We are looking for key members to place in leadership roles who are dedicated, passionate, and goal-oriented. No experience is necessary as we provide extensive training, but dedication is a must.
What once was a mere secondary income became one family's saving grace. Not so long ago when flood waters left over 2,600 people homeless, Executive Director Rhonda Hendrix and her husband Michael almost lost their home as well. Micheal did not work for nearly 3 months. Fortunately, they were able to rely on the residual income they received working with our partner company and managed to put the pieces back together. The Hendrix's were able to remodel their home and replace some the their belongings without having to worry about the financial strains of not having flood insurance. (Leadership in Action, July 2010)
Having time for what matters most is another advantage to working at home with FourPointGroup, LLC.
"Spend time with those you love today. One day you'll either say 'I wish I had' or 'I'm glad I did.'"--Zig Ziglar. Work with a company that puts ethics and integrity first. Working with FourPointGroup, LLC you play a vital role in the account set-up, customer service, marketing, and training for an internationally known company. Part Time and Full time positions available from your home office. We are looking for key members to place in leadership roles who are dedicated, passionate, and goal-oriented. No experience is necessary as we provide extensive training, but dedication is a must.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Glitter in the Air
I was listening to Glitter in the Air by Pink and as unusual she put into words feelings we have all had from time to time. She talked about the breath before a kiss and I thought to myself, "I totally know what she is talking about." The breath you take right before your lips touch, it's like magic.
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
No one can write lyrics like this unless they can feel them with their soul. There is a big difference between putting pretty words on paper and pouring your heart out blood and all. Moments when you thought your body would actually rip into and the pain would totally consume you. There have been times in my life when I was so happy I could bust. Everything was exciting and perfect. Nothing or no one could bring me down. Then there have been instances when I thought I had lost my mind. The little voice in my head, putting in overtime, trying to convince me the world was plotting my demise. Bitter as an unripened blackberry and sharp as the thorns that come with it. I have experienced moments of clarity during these times in my life. Learning how strong you are and how much crap you can take definitely comes in handy when your back is to the wall.
Past relationships that I have had in my life have brought me both joy and pain. But for the most part I wouldn't change the time I spent with those people. My first marriage made me a mother for the first time. The feeling a mother has toward her child is probably the most indescribable feeling in the whole world. I mean, I simply can never put into words what happened to me when I became a mom. How can you love something so unconditionally that just cause you the worst physical pain you will ever experience in your life? I don't know how but the instant Brooke was born that 24 hours of labor and the 60 minutes I pushed..... simply vanished. I can honestly say I was sad the whole time I was pregnant with Courtney because I loved Brooke so much I didn't think I could love Courtney the same. Of course when I saw her, all the sadness disappeared and I loved her just as much but differently some how. Jaylan increased my love even more when she came into my life. Three sweet little girls who have now grown into teenagers with so much life ahead of them. I'm excited to see what they do in the world.
Although friends have come and gone, there have been a few that have withstood the test of time. People that I am so close to, I would feel as though I lost a piece of my soul if I were to ever lose them. People who you can be away from for years and the moment you reconnect.... it's like the days never passed between you. Friends that keep your secrets and know who you really are but still love you anyway. I have had the privilege to experience some of these precious people as well and the ones who weren't so precious but taught me a very important lesson about human nature.
Regardless of how my relationships ended or why they ended doesn't mean much to me these days. The ones that I still have close to me are the ones that mean the most. My kids, my better half and my great friends keep me sane more often then not....... but the most important relationship I have is with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and he blesses me everyday.
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?
Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?
Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?
No one can write lyrics like this unless they can feel them with their soul. There is a big difference between putting pretty words on paper and pouring your heart out blood and all. Moments when you thought your body would actually rip into and the pain would totally consume you. There have been times in my life when I was so happy I could bust. Everything was exciting and perfect. Nothing or no one could bring me down. Then there have been instances when I thought I had lost my mind. The little voice in my head, putting in overtime, trying to convince me the world was plotting my demise. Bitter as an unripened blackberry and sharp as the thorns that come with it. I have experienced moments of clarity during these times in my life. Learning how strong you are and how much crap you can take definitely comes in handy when your back is to the wall.
Past relationships that I have had in my life have brought me both joy and pain. But for the most part I wouldn't change the time I spent with those people. My first marriage made me a mother for the first time. The feeling a mother has toward her child is probably the most indescribable feeling in the whole world. I mean, I simply can never put into words what happened to me when I became a mom. How can you love something so unconditionally that just cause you the worst physical pain you will ever experience in your life? I don't know how but the instant Brooke was born that 24 hours of labor and the 60 minutes I pushed..... simply vanished. I can honestly say I was sad the whole time I was pregnant with Courtney because I loved Brooke so much I didn't think I could love Courtney the same. Of course when I saw her, all the sadness disappeared and I loved her just as much but differently some how. Jaylan increased my love even more when she came into my life. Three sweet little girls who have now grown into teenagers with so much life ahead of them. I'm excited to see what they do in the world.
Although friends have come and gone, there have been a few that have withstood the test of time. People that I am so close to, I would feel as though I lost a piece of my soul if I were to ever lose them. People who you can be away from for years and the moment you reconnect.... it's like the days never passed between you. Friends that keep your secrets and know who you really are but still love you anyway. I have had the privilege to experience some of these precious people as well and the ones who weren't so precious but taught me a very important lesson about human nature.
Regardless of how my relationships ended or why they ended doesn't mean much to me these days. The ones that I still have close to me are the ones that mean the most. My kids, my better half and my great friends keep me sane more often then not....... but the most important relationship I have is with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and he blesses me everyday.
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just don't care?
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Plan B
Personal issues with my kids caused me to quit my job about four months ago. Granted I had been working in a factory for more than half my life, so I figured I would be ok with what I had in retirement until I finished my degree in Psychology. A degree that I have been working on the past couple of years. I figured that I am still young enough to replace any monies that I may spend from my retirement accounts while I try my hand at working from home. I have given myself a year to finish my degree and establish a strong home based business. So far so good. Well..... put it this way, I am not starving, in fact I have probably gained 10lbs in the last four months, so the business aspect has been decent. However, any time you start your own business, be prepared to struggle for the first few months to a year before you actually see a real profit. I am basically holding my own, making about as much as I would have made if I still worked for someone else.
I am very serious about working from home. I treat it as I would any job. However, most days I do work in my PJ's. I get up, make coffee and then adjourn to my home office. There I work on my computer, make calls and do the basics that every business entails. The only difference is I can get up and go throw a load of laundry in the washer in the middle of a conference call or cook my kids something to eat while I do a presentation. And.....if I do want to take the day off, I can do so without having to ask my boss. This is the best part about working for yourself.
With the economy in rehab and the job market still in a stall, a steady job has become as valuable as a winning lotto ticket. People are dipping into their nest eggs, cars are getting repo'd, homes being foreclosed and jobs are being eliminated everyday as a result of companies trying to cut costs. Many of us are finding that our plan A just doesn't pay the bills anymore.
I chose to join a organization that was BBB accredited and our CEO sits on the United States Chamber of Commerce. His name is Frank Vandersloot and the organization is FourPointGroup, LLC. With our business the cheese hasn't moved and for anyone who owns their own business, we can be the plan B when your plan A isn't doing so well. We have a recession proof business with highly consumable products that people need anyway. We are partnered with a science-based wellness consumer products company that manufactured over 350 products that are safe and healthier for you family and home. A green company that makes green when every other industry is struggling. Not only do we hold a Better Business Bureau's Torch award but we are feature in INC 500 magazine. We have a 95% reorder rate because our products work and work well. Our partner company has been in business for over 25 years and is debt free, meaning we have made a profit every year without having to rely on government bailouts when times get tough. A business where you can grow a steady residual income and will it to your children when you're done.
Now I am not suggesting you quit your job like I did, but at the very least, work part time and see for yourself. Work with a company that has a phenomenal track record, who is financially sound with a strong management program and unique consumable products that are competitively priced. Work around your life when you want to work. You can have a family and a career working from home. So, if you'd like this month to look better than last month or this year to look better than last year, check out our plan B and decide for yourself.
I am very serious about working from home. I treat it as I would any job. However, most days I do work in my PJ's. I get up, make coffee and then adjourn to my home office. There I work on my computer, make calls and do the basics that every business entails. The only difference is I can get up and go throw a load of laundry in the washer in the middle of a conference call or cook my kids something to eat while I do a presentation. And.....if I do want to take the day off, I can do so without having to ask my boss. This is the best part about working for yourself.
With the economy in rehab and the job market still in a stall, a steady job has become as valuable as a winning lotto ticket. People are dipping into their nest eggs, cars are getting repo'd, homes being foreclosed and jobs are being eliminated everyday as a result of companies trying to cut costs. Many of us are finding that our plan A just doesn't pay the bills anymore.
I chose to join a organization that was BBB accredited and our CEO sits on the United States Chamber of Commerce. His name is Frank Vandersloot and the organization is FourPointGroup, LLC. With our business the cheese hasn't moved and for anyone who owns their own business, we can be the plan B when your plan A isn't doing so well. We have a recession proof business with highly consumable products that people need anyway. We are partnered with a science-based wellness consumer products company that manufactured over 350 products that are safe and healthier for you family and home. A green company that makes green when every other industry is struggling. Not only do we hold a Better Business Bureau's Torch award but we are feature in INC 500 magazine. We have a 95% reorder rate because our products work and work well. Our partner company has been in business for over 25 years and is debt free, meaning we have made a profit every year without having to rely on government bailouts when times get tough. A business where you can grow a steady residual income and will it to your children when you're done.
Now I am not suggesting you quit your job like I did, but at the very least, work part time and see for yourself. Work with a company that has a phenomenal track record, who is financially sound with a strong management program and unique consumable products that are competitively priced. Work around your life when you want to work. You can have a family and a career working from home. So, if you'd like this month to look better than last month or this year to look better than last year, check out our plan B and decide for yourself.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Secret to a Happy Life
I believe the secret to a happy life can be summed up in the lyrics to the country song Love Like Crazy by Lee Brice.
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy
Lots of times we aren't always a best friend or even a good friend. I try to be most always but sometimes life gets in the way and I forget to call or remember a birthday.
Finding someone to tell you the truth or even telling it yourself can be a chore. Whether it's because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings or you're trying to protect them or you just plain don't have the truth in you.
Do I tell the one's I love the most that I love them all the time?
Hardly. In the past I always assumed they knew.
I did get the "go to work part" down pretty good. Most work that people do is not really hard. I mean, yes it may be physically hard or mentally challenging but you pretty much know everyday what your duties are when you walk into your work place. There's no second guessing. You know your requirements, you do them and go home.
Common sense is used less and less in this day in time. Sometimes I wonder how some people find their way home.
When was the last time you got on your knees to pray? I used to think as long as I said my prayers at night, I was covered. Just a little quick one before I would fall off to sleep laying in my big ol' bed all snuggly and warm.
Man, if Jesus had thought the way the rest of us do, we would all be in a heap of trouble. Glad to know He is my best friend. He has always told me the truth. I can never hear it too many times how much He loves me. He worked to spread the word of His father. He gave His very best (His life) and every word in the Bible is nothing but common sense. The only way to the God is through His son Jesus Christ. How much simpler can that be to understand. He never let his prayin' knees get lazy and He loved like crazy.
Something to think about isn't it? If we all put forth just a little more effort, this would be a lot nicer world to live in. So, I hope today you realize what the secret is to a happy life is and it makes you love like crazy........
.
Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse I love you
Go to work, do your best, don't outsmart your common sense
Never let your prayin' knees get lazy
And love like crazy
Lots of times we aren't always a best friend or even a good friend. I try to be most always but sometimes life gets in the way and I forget to call or remember a birthday.
Finding someone to tell you the truth or even telling it yourself can be a chore. Whether it's because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings or you're trying to protect them or you just plain don't have the truth in you.
Do I tell the one's I love the most that I love them all the time?
Hardly. In the past I always assumed they knew.
I did get the "go to work part" down pretty good. Most work that people do is not really hard. I mean, yes it may be physically hard or mentally challenging but you pretty much know everyday what your duties are when you walk into your work place. There's no second guessing. You know your requirements, you do them and go home.
Common sense is used less and less in this day in time. Sometimes I wonder how some people find their way home.
When was the last time you got on your knees to pray? I used to think as long as I said my prayers at night, I was covered. Just a little quick one before I would fall off to sleep laying in my big ol' bed all snuggly and warm.
Man, if Jesus had thought the way the rest of us do, we would all be in a heap of trouble. Glad to know He is my best friend. He has always told me the truth. I can never hear it too many times how much He loves me. He worked to spread the word of His father. He gave His very best (His life) and every word in the Bible is nothing but common sense. The only way to the God is through His son Jesus Christ. How much simpler can that be to understand. He never let his prayin' knees get lazy and He loved like crazy.
Something to think about isn't it? If we all put forth just a little more effort, this would be a lot nicer world to live in. So, I hope today you realize what the secret is to a happy life is and it makes you love like crazy........
.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Cereal bowls, cell phones and 4W Drives.
I once told someone that I may not be a good person or friend or wife or daughter but I was one hell of a mom. Turns out I wasn't even that. I used to think that if you couldn't please everybody then what was the use in even trying. As so many other times in my life, I was wrong.
Pleasing my kids and basically spoiling them rotten was my excuse for not being there at all. You see I felt like I had to work all the time to give them the things they want and that made me a good mom. When in reality what they really need was my time. I figured this out when one day Brooke says, "Mom, I want some cereal." "Okay." I replied "Go fix you some." "Well, there aren't any clean bowls." she said and I'm thinking to myself....Are you freaking serious? "Then wash one." I told her. "I don't know how." was her response. Really, is this happening? My kid has no idea how to wash a bowl by hand let alone run a dishwasher which I did not have the luxury of having when I was growing up. And being the oldest, who do you think got to wash the dishes? Another example of this generation is the cell phone or should I say cellular device that does everything but wipe your butt for you. One day I ask Courtney to come get her clothes that I had just washed from the laundry room. She walks in with her cell phone in her hand. I go to hand her the laundry basket full of clothes and she looks at me like she's confused. She looks at this huge basket of clothes that I am holding and then back to her phone.......basket...phone...basket ....phone. "Oh for heavens sake!" "Put the damn phone down for 2 seconds and take these clothes please!!!" I scream. The fact that she was honestly in a pickle was the saddest part of it all. Once, there was a story on Good Morning America about a women who was almost into her ninth month of pregnancy when she was in a car accident. She was brain dead but they kept her alive a few more weeks until it the baby's lungs were more developed and it would be safe to deliver. Courtney looks at me puzzled. "Mom, if the lady is brain dead, then how did she know when to push?" I just petted her on the head and told her that the doctor's did a c-section. "Oh, okay." "I understand now." she replied. I thought to myself, it's a good thing she's pretty. Maybe she'll get lucky and marry a doctor or lawyer cause she's never going to make it in the real world.
I, on the other hand, could probably tell you everything there is to know about a Jeep. My ex-husband built one from the frame and body tub up. It had Nascar seats with the 4 point harnesses. The steering wheel came off just like in Nascar. He had Bead Lock wheels on 44 inch tires, Dana 60's in the front and back, Detroit Lockers, twin shifters, on board welder, CO2 tank, Dual Optima batteries........arghh arghh arghh. (That's the sound Tim Allen used to make on the tv show TOOL TIME.) haha
I used to have old K-5 Blazer with 35 inch tires and a 8 inch lift kit. Actually we had two....his and hers. Cute, I know. Anyway, I can remember the time the FedEx guy got hung up in a ditch down at the end of our road. I happened to see him on my way to my ex-husbands grandparents house and stopped to see if he needed any help. At the time I was driving my Pap's stock F-150. Nothing special. I told the FedEx guy I could pull him out. He goes, "I don't think you can in that truck." "I wasn't going to use this truck." "Hold on and I will be right back." I said. Five minutes later I come over the hill in one of the Blazers. I jump out with toe strap in hand, hook it to the front of the delivery truck, lock in the hubs and away we go. Just one of many redneck facts about me....that and I can field dress a deer.
I believe girls should be able to change a tire, their oil and a diaper. My girls probably could not do any of the above. Well, maybe Jaylan but that's another story. Anyway, the fact is that this generation can't do anything for themselves and it's totally our faults. I mean it's nice to know how to download music off of i Tunes or email pics to your friends but shouldn't they also know how to boil water and sew on a button? Yea, I think so. In fact, I think I will show them now. I let you know how it turns out.........
Pleasing my kids and basically spoiling them rotten was my excuse for not being there at all. You see I felt like I had to work all the time to give them the things they want and that made me a good mom. When in reality what they really need was my time. I figured this out when one day Brooke says, "Mom, I want some cereal." "Okay." I replied "Go fix you some." "Well, there aren't any clean bowls." she said and I'm thinking to myself....Are you freaking serious? "Then wash one." I told her. "I don't know how." was her response. Really, is this happening? My kid has no idea how to wash a bowl by hand let alone run a dishwasher which I did not have the luxury of having when I was growing up. And being the oldest, who do you think got to wash the dishes? Another example of this generation is the cell phone or should I say cellular device that does everything but wipe your butt for you. One day I ask Courtney to come get her clothes that I had just washed from the laundry room. She walks in with her cell phone in her hand. I go to hand her the laundry basket full of clothes and she looks at me like she's confused. She looks at this huge basket of clothes that I am holding and then back to her phone.......basket...phone...basket ....phone. "Oh for heavens sake!" "Put the damn phone down for 2 seconds and take these clothes please!!!" I scream. The fact that she was honestly in a pickle was the saddest part of it all. Once, there was a story on Good Morning America about a women who was almost into her ninth month of pregnancy when she was in a car accident. She was brain dead but they kept her alive a few more weeks until it the baby's lungs were more developed and it would be safe to deliver. Courtney looks at me puzzled. "Mom, if the lady is brain dead, then how did she know when to push?" I just petted her on the head and told her that the doctor's did a c-section. "Oh, okay." "I understand now." she replied. I thought to myself, it's a good thing she's pretty. Maybe she'll get lucky and marry a doctor or lawyer cause she's never going to make it in the real world.
I, on the other hand, could probably tell you everything there is to know about a Jeep. My ex-husband built one from the frame and body tub up. It had Nascar seats with the 4 point harnesses. The steering wheel came off just like in Nascar. He had Bead Lock wheels on 44 inch tires, Dana 60's in the front and back, Detroit Lockers, twin shifters, on board welder, CO2 tank, Dual Optima batteries........arghh arghh arghh. (That's the sound Tim Allen used to make on the tv show TOOL TIME.) haha
I used to have old K-5 Blazer with 35 inch tires and a 8 inch lift kit. Actually we had two....his and hers. Cute, I know. Anyway, I can remember the time the FedEx guy got hung up in a ditch down at the end of our road. I happened to see him on my way to my ex-husbands grandparents house and stopped to see if he needed any help. At the time I was driving my Pap's stock F-150. Nothing special. I told the FedEx guy I could pull him out. He goes, "I don't think you can in that truck." "I wasn't going to use this truck." "Hold on and I will be right back." I said. Five minutes later I come over the hill in one of the Blazers. I jump out with toe strap in hand, hook it to the front of the delivery truck, lock in the hubs and away we go. Just one of many redneck facts about me....that and I can field dress a deer.
I believe girls should be able to change a tire, their oil and a diaper. My girls probably could not do any of the above. Well, maybe Jaylan but that's another story. Anyway, the fact is that this generation can't do anything for themselves and it's totally our faults. I mean it's nice to know how to download music off of i Tunes or email pics to your friends but shouldn't they also know how to boil water and sew on a button? Yea, I think so. In fact, I think I will show them now. I let you know how it turns out.........
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Beginning
Ok, so today I decided I would start a blog....well actually I had one but I think it was just more of me venting about stuff that really doesn't matter than a blog that has any type of valuable content. Having said that I want to let everyone know that what I plan to do with this blog will either be helpful or at the very least, let you know that I am human and my family is just as dysfunctional as anyone else out there. Feel free to take that anyway you like.
Now, for those of you that know me, some my wonder, "What the hell is she going to do?!!" Don't worry. If I tell a story about you, I promise to change you name. haha That is unless you are one of my ex-husbands then I'll tell everyone.....just kidding...... maybe.......well, it just depends on how damn funny it is so beware.
So, just a little information about me is that I used to be a workaholic. Back in 2008 I lost my mother to MRSA or Mursa. She was a nurse and contracted it from a patient. She got it in her lungs and died of Pneumonia about six months later. My mother's name was Vera and she gave her life to her job, not her family. I used to be the same way. I worked a 12 hour swing shift, lots of over-timed and became a part-time student on top of that. Like my mother, I was not home much. I worked all the time. I thought that working everyday made me a good parent. I thought trying to buy everything stinking thing my kids asked for made me a good parent. I thought giving them money to go shopping all the time to made up for me not being at a basketball game or dance competition. This can be a viscous cycle folks. When you are a single parent and you feel like you have to do it all......in reality you end up losing it all. I missed a lot of stuff. I ruined my last marriage because I spent more time with the people I worked with than my family. I missed out on spending time with my mom before she died. I was at work when my step-dad called me to tell me my mom was in the hospital and she probably wasn't going to make it. Instead of leaving right then, I waited until my shift was over. When I got to there they were preparing to fly her to the University of Kentucky Hospital and would not let me see her. Twenty minutes later I heard them call a Code Blue to my mothers room number. She died and I didn't get to say good bye. I tried but I was too late. I hope she heard when I said that I loved her. I hope she heard me when I said I was sorry for not coming sooner. I hope she heard me when I asked her to stay with me and give me another chance. I just hope she heard me......
I think that was the beginning for me. A beginning of finding a better way to live my crazy life. I don't ever remember going on vacation with my parents growing up. That's because my mother never took a vacation. We never went to church although she believed in God. There were lots of things we never did and I was determined not to let that happen to me and my kids.
A couple of summers ago, the girls and I took a trip to Destin, Florida. On the way down there, at 5:30 in the morning in Montgomery Alabama, my directions flew out the window. The sun was coming up and as I reached on the dashboard to get my sunglasses, I pulled the directions off the dash and they got sucked out the window at 75 miles an hour. Courtney was the only one awake besides me and she looked in horror as I busted out laughing. I didn't have a map or GPS or anything.....just written instructions on a piece of paper that was now stuck to the highway. For whatever reason, I wasn't freaking out. I knew I had 180 miles until my next exit, the sun would be up and we would all me fine. We made the trip safe and sound of course and I had never seen such beautiful water in my whole life. I had been to Myrtle Beach and a few other places along the east coast but never Florida. The sand was white as snow and I could still see my toes in water up to my neck. The girls thought I was the best mom ever and I felt like the best mom ever. That week we laid on the beach, ate crab legs and got burned to a crisp but we bonded like never before. Just me and my kids.
Long story short, that was the start of me trying to find a way to spend more time with the ones that mean the most. It took me a little while but for the last 3 months I have been working from home opening accounts online for an international company. I work when I want for as long as I want and if I don't want to work then I don't. I can be there for my kids. Be there for all their events and challenges. Be there we they need to talk or listen when they need to vent......I do have 3 teenage daughters by the way and they vent all the time. And to tell the truth, I think they need me more now then they did when they were little. It's not easy being a teenager and it's not always easy being a parent but at least we are going through it together.
Now, for those of you that know me, some my wonder, "What the hell is she going to do?!!" Don't worry. If I tell a story about you, I promise to change you name. haha That is unless you are one of my ex-husbands then I'll tell everyone.....just kidding...... maybe.......well, it just depends on how damn funny it is so beware.
So, just a little information about me is that I used to be a workaholic. Back in 2008 I lost my mother to MRSA or Mursa. She was a nurse and contracted it from a patient. She got it in her lungs and died of Pneumonia about six months later. My mother's name was Vera and she gave her life to her job, not her family. I used to be the same way. I worked a 12 hour swing shift, lots of over-timed and became a part-time student on top of that. Like my mother, I was not home much. I worked all the time. I thought that working everyday made me a good parent. I thought trying to buy everything stinking thing my kids asked for made me a good parent. I thought giving them money to go shopping all the time to made up for me not being at a basketball game or dance competition. This can be a viscous cycle folks. When you are a single parent and you feel like you have to do it all......in reality you end up losing it all. I missed a lot of stuff. I ruined my last marriage because I spent more time with the people I worked with than my family. I missed out on spending time with my mom before she died. I was at work when my step-dad called me to tell me my mom was in the hospital and she probably wasn't going to make it. Instead of leaving right then, I waited until my shift was over. When I got to there they were preparing to fly her to the University of Kentucky Hospital and would not let me see her. Twenty minutes later I heard them call a Code Blue to my mothers room number. She died and I didn't get to say good bye. I tried but I was too late. I hope she heard when I said that I loved her. I hope she heard me when I said I was sorry for not coming sooner. I hope she heard me when I asked her to stay with me and give me another chance. I just hope she heard me......
I think that was the beginning for me. A beginning of finding a better way to live my crazy life. I don't ever remember going on vacation with my parents growing up. That's because my mother never took a vacation. We never went to church although she believed in God. There were lots of things we never did and I was determined not to let that happen to me and my kids.
A couple of summers ago, the girls and I took a trip to Destin, Florida. On the way down there, at 5:30 in the morning in Montgomery Alabama, my directions flew out the window. The sun was coming up and as I reached on the dashboard to get my sunglasses, I pulled the directions off the dash and they got sucked out the window at 75 miles an hour. Courtney was the only one awake besides me and she looked in horror as I busted out laughing. I didn't have a map or GPS or anything.....just written instructions on a piece of paper that was now stuck to the highway. For whatever reason, I wasn't freaking out. I knew I had 180 miles until my next exit, the sun would be up and we would all me fine. We made the trip safe and sound of course and I had never seen such beautiful water in my whole life. I had been to Myrtle Beach and a few other places along the east coast but never Florida. The sand was white as snow and I could still see my toes in water up to my neck. The girls thought I was the best mom ever and I felt like the best mom ever. That week we laid on the beach, ate crab legs and got burned to a crisp but we bonded like never before. Just me and my kids.
Long story short, that was the start of me trying to find a way to spend more time with the ones that mean the most. It took me a little while but for the last 3 months I have been working from home opening accounts online for an international company. I work when I want for as long as I want and if I don't want to work then I don't. I can be there for my kids. Be there for all their events and challenges. Be there we they need to talk or listen when they need to vent......I do have 3 teenage daughters by the way and they vent all the time. And to tell the truth, I think they need me more now then they did when they were little. It's not easy being a teenager and it's not always easy being a parent but at least we are going through it together.
Reason, Season, Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a God send and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be..
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on..
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that
person..
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support,
To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a God send and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be..
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an
end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on..
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real.. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Anyway
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you win some false friends and true enemies; be successful anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building someone can tear down overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they my be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough; give the world your best anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles
Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles: "Burned Alive - Help Stop BP from Torching Endangered Sea Turtles"
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Single?
The definition for choice, according to the Webster's Dictionary is the right or power to choose; preference; or careful selection. It is impossible to not wonder if there's something better just around the corner or......someone better. A friend of mine said to me one day, "If I could just choose between Rob or Bob (made up names of course) I'd be married by now." I agreed but having choices is not what it's cracked up to be. So, that leaves us to question then how do you tame indecision, particularly with it comes to relationships.
Studies show that when people have several choices to choose from, making a decision becomes harder. For example; a grocery store displayed 6 types of jam for people to choose from in a taste test the first week. The second week there were 24 different types of jam to choose from. Although the bigger selection brought more customers to the table, having all those choices made it hard to pick a winner. The paradox of choice leaves us confused, paralyzed and suffering from buyers remorse. So, how does it relate when really important questions come up like picking a home, a new career or....a life partner?
When I was growing up adults told me that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up and have anything that I wanted. For this generation, how do you choose when you are taught that you can have it all? People today are putting off marriage a lot longer than generations before us. The thirty-somethings are overcome with an explosion of options vying for our attention. Friends, careers, the people out there that we haven't dated yet. The effect of choice, when the waiter brings your food and you realize you really want what he or she is having.
Some ways that helped me to crap or get off the pot were: What exactly is my criteria in a mate? One of the things that really bug me about my boyfriend is he always says stupid sh*t without thinking. Like standing in the doorway of the laundry room asking me if I have something in the washer when I can hear it running myself all the way in the kitchen. "Are you really asking me that?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" On the other hand he really tries to make me happy. He would do anything in the world for me like scrub the dead skin from my heels with the Ped-egg and then rub lotion all over my feet when he knows I would not do the same for him.....GROSS!!! Yes, girls....be jealous, be very jealous. Okay, so I can overlook stupid remarks if it means a foot rub later. Trade-offs are the key.
Next is concentration. When an ex or someone I used to have my eye on or even a new guy approaches me now a days and asks me out, I ask myself these questions. Would so and so rub my back? Take out the garbage without being told? Put up with my need for control? My quirky sense of humor (especially at his own expense)? My kids being brats and me wanting my house to be perfect at all times? Or my craving for bar-b-q Frito's and French Onion Dip at 1:00 in the morning? If the answer if no, then I don't even consider it and politely decline.
Common sense should also be considered when picking a mate. Don't pick someone that is the total opposite from you. If you are the conservative Baptist type that like hugs and small talk, don't go after an atheist hippie at the local Star Bucks. Although opposites do attract, it will not work out in the long run. It is not destiny, only hormones trying control your brain.
Give yourself a time limit. There is a difference between being picky and paralyzed. Really, do you need 7 years worth of data collection to determine if you are compatible? Three years is good enough. Five years should be the max.
Finally choose already!! You don't really get to have everything. And to be honest, you really don't want everything anyway. Trust me on this. One thing that makes us fear choosing is that we think we have shut the door on anymore options in life. Not true. By making a choice you have just opened up a brand new box of options. Take for instance, if you choose Bill then you'll never date Will. True. If you pick an architect, then you'll never have the cowboy. Also true. But consider this, if you pick the architect then you can decide if you want a dog house or a people house? What color should you make it? What size, big or small? Choosing doesn't limit choices--it just changes them. So choose and see what happens. If you wait, you may be missing more than you think.
Studies show that when people have several choices to choose from, making a decision becomes harder. For example; a grocery store displayed 6 types of jam for people to choose from in a taste test the first week. The second week there were 24 different types of jam to choose from. Although the bigger selection brought more customers to the table, having all those choices made it hard to pick a winner. The paradox of choice leaves us confused, paralyzed and suffering from buyers remorse. So, how does it relate when really important questions come up like picking a home, a new career or....a life partner?
When I was growing up adults told me that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up and have anything that I wanted. For this generation, how do you choose when you are taught that you can have it all? People today are putting off marriage a lot longer than generations before us. The thirty-somethings are overcome with an explosion of options vying for our attention. Friends, careers, the people out there that we haven't dated yet. The effect of choice, when the waiter brings your food and you realize you really want what he or she is having.
Some ways that helped me to crap or get off the pot were: What exactly is my criteria in a mate? One of the things that really bug me about my boyfriend is he always says stupid sh*t without thinking. Like standing in the doorway of the laundry room asking me if I have something in the washer when I can hear it running myself all the way in the kitchen. "Are you really asking me that?" "What the hell is wrong with you?" On the other hand he really tries to make me happy. He would do anything in the world for me like scrub the dead skin from my heels with the Ped-egg and then rub lotion all over my feet when he knows I would not do the same for him.....GROSS!!! Yes, girls....be jealous, be very jealous. Okay, so I can overlook stupid remarks if it means a foot rub later. Trade-offs are the key.
Next is concentration. When an ex or someone I used to have my eye on or even a new guy approaches me now a days and asks me out, I ask myself these questions. Would so and so rub my back? Take out the garbage without being told? Put up with my need for control? My quirky sense of humor (especially at his own expense)? My kids being brats and me wanting my house to be perfect at all times? Or my craving for bar-b-q Frito's and French Onion Dip at 1:00 in the morning? If the answer if no, then I don't even consider it and politely decline.
Common sense should also be considered when picking a mate. Don't pick someone that is the total opposite from you. If you are the conservative Baptist type that like hugs and small talk, don't go after an atheist hippie at the local Star Bucks. Although opposites do attract, it will not work out in the long run. It is not destiny, only hormones trying control your brain.
Give yourself a time limit. There is a difference between being picky and paralyzed. Really, do you need 7 years worth of data collection to determine if you are compatible? Three years is good enough. Five years should be the max.
Finally choose already!! You don't really get to have everything. And to be honest, you really don't want everything anyway. Trust me on this. One thing that makes us fear choosing is that we think we have shut the door on anymore options in life. Not true. By making a choice you have just opened up a brand new box of options. Take for instance, if you choose Bill then you'll never date Will. True. If you pick an architect, then you'll never have the cowboy. Also true. But consider this, if you pick the architect then you can decide if you want a dog house or a people house? What color should you make it? What size, big or small? Choosing doesn't limit choices--it just changes them. So choose and see what happens. If you wait, you may be missing more than you think.
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